I’ve been working on The Love Project. Planning, mapping, drawing, writing. I’ve got a notebook (in which I keep feverishly scribbling new ideas), my camera (now with me all the time), a calendar, a map (like all good explorers), colored pencils and pens and neon postcards with matching envelopes. Of all the bloggy adventures I’ve undertaken over the past two years, this is the coolest. And, of course, how could it not be? It’s about love – wild, fierce, spontaneous, deep, searching, fearless love.
The Love Project is barely ten days old, and already I’ve felt magic – these weird, wonderful tectonic shifts, inside and out. Part of it, I expected. I knew there would be sparks. January is the month of “spontaneous connection,” and my week has been filled with surprising moments of sweet, electric authenticity, startling and pure. What I didn’t expect was this undercurrent, this energy that flows beneath the surface of everything, this sense I have of being totally awake, aware, expectant…
I think it’s true that you get back what you give in life: shitty begets shitty, love begets love. So maybe this thing that feels like magic to me is really just karma, the natural order of things. I am doing unto others and they’re doing back to me, and it’s as simple (and lovely) as that. Maybe. All I know for sure is that I’ve spent the first week of 2011 acting on my best, most generous impulses, and here I am at the end of that week feeling dazzled and alive. I think it’s going to be one hell of a breathtaking year.
But this is a project. Because as much as I believe love should be our default position, I know how life is. I know how it gets in the way (and pisses us off, and beats us up, and hardens us). So I have a plan: a January-December spread-the-love list. On the first Monday of each month, I’ll tell you my wild, improbable love objectives, and I hope you’ll tell me yours, because spreading love is just too awesome a goal for me to have it alone. Here’s my list…
Jan: A month of spontaneous connection (like the act that started it all)
Feb : A month of hugs
Mar: A month of giving what you need
Apr: A month of capturing love (in photographs)
May: A month of self-love
Jun: A month of graffiti (displays left for others to find)
Jul: A month of (heartfelt, absolutely true, one-of-a-kind) compliments
Aug: A month of grand gestures
Sep: A month of seeing
Oct: A month of love letters
Nov: A month of gifts
Dec: A month of volunteering
There you have it, the big love list for now… until one of you inspires me to change it. My idea for March was inspired by Melissa’s comment on my original post about giving a hug when she needed a hug. I think the idea of giving exactly what you need to get is emotional genius. I’m open to more ingenious ideas, so feel free to toss them out.
In the meantime, join me! Spontaneously connect – send a text, make a phone call, leave a message, kiss someone beautiful, hug someone who needs it, doodle a postcard.
Spread the love.
This is gonna be so cool. You should visit Canada in February. No pressure or anything…
“What I didn’t expect was this undercurrent, this energy that flows beneath the surface of everything, this sense I have of being totally awake, aware, expectant…” Awesome. The interweb is crackling with the energy.
… or you could come to California. It’s warmer here, despite my muttering and shivering. And you’re right. This is going to be cool.
So good & inspiring that I’ve bookmarked it because it’s a refresher in the power of love.
Yay! I will try to remember to include #theloveprj hashtag when I tweet a love post. Every time I think I know what this project is about, something new comes up and I realize it’s bigger than I thought. I anticipate a wild, amazing ride.
Love it! This year, every month is May for me, lol.
I’m too thrilled for you and what you’re doing (I wish I thought of this project first!!). Giving you hugs in advance ((( j )))
Ha! I didn’t have “self-love” in my original list, but three people in three days told me about how they always put themselves last, never give their own desires and passions and creative spirits time to breathe. Made me think I don’t know very many people in the world that give themselves the love they deserve.
Hugs back to you!
a wonderful plan
it will be wonderful watching it unfold
and to see the changes that take hold
starting from a place of love … changes everything
what a wonderful way to be
open and aware
Exactly. ;-) xo
I love your list and want to make every month everything on the list.
Looking forward to hearing how it goes for you and what you discover about you and the people you “love” on.
Perfect. A friend told me to imagine that one in every 10 people actually participated in The Love Project – embarked on their own version of loving fearlessly. Think of the momentum, the impact. It’s a pretty amazing thought.
How truly inspiring, J, and though I’m one to love lists as you do, I’m sure I couldn’t have come up with such a great one as you just did :)
I’m looking forward to watching this wonderful project unfold, and maybe get inspired enough to blog about my own too sometime.
Yes, get inspired. The keyword here is “spread.” Wait, no, the keyword is love, I guess but then “spread.” ;-) xo
This is wonderful! I love the magic you’ve been experiencing. This is one amazing list of loving actions!
Thank you, Belle. Yesterday I made a card for someone. I think I tapped into my 7-year-old self. How cool is that?
It is so interesting to think of loving as a project – an experiment, to see what is born and borne from the adventure. I was just thinking that the reason we only use 10% of our brains is because of this very fact – we don’t engage in real love exploits on a regular basis. I could be wrong, but what if our brains were predisposed to the love proposition more than hate, to building more than destruction? Just a curious thought…
I love the list. It is inspired and inspiring, challenging and inviting. I love that it challenges me to not be too busy to love and love well. I will engage as well I can, and will have to journal the journey myself. What will be wonderful is the myriad of posts, blows noodles scraps and such that can be gathered together at the end for a tapestry of love demonstrated…I think it can be a movement…
Thank you J for loving and inspiring love in me.
:-)
I absolutely love the phrase “real love exploits.” Yes! More real love exploits, please!
In light of recent events, your brain question is beautiful. What if, indeed. On a train into the city last night, I wrote about feeling that my project was too little, that I wished I knew how to make a bigger difference… a movement. It shouldn’t be too hard, it’s all about, as you said, everyone taking the time. Not being too busy. Not being too angry….
Thank you for joining me, TPM.
I thought about what I might say here in my little comment box that could do justice to the magnificence of your project. I realized there’s a lot to say and it could become a long list. But we’ve got a whole year (smart thinking on that one, j). So I zeroed in on one way that your post made me realize I’ve changed my life + the life of someone I love with l♥ve.
I used to try to change my husband to be who I needed. I wanted him to be better at hearing my feelings, better at expressing his feelings, blah blah blah. I put years into that project. Somewhere along the way, I realized it was me who needed to change. So I set out instead to consciously appreciate him for who he already is (which is pretty darn special!). I set out to also appreciate things I used to think were hurtful to me, such as his habit of sarcasm.
I began to see the humor in it, and that it wasn’t designed (as I thought) to demoralize me. It was designed to make me laugh. So I started laughing. And now I’ve found an extra amazing gift in his sarcasm that I never would have seen if I hadn’t started this project of loving his sarcasm (which is about 2 yrs old by now). I won’t say what that gift is yet because it’s a private project that could take a year to bring to fruition. And then I’ll release it to the world.
Bonus: One day recently B. mentioned that I’m such a good sport. He said he teases only me and his friend Jimmy on such a massive scale because we’re such good sports. Wow. B’s not one to give compliments lightly, so that was big. I realized then how much he had been loving me in return for my change of attitude. (Eek. Tears in the eyes as I type that.)
Your story reminds me of Kellie’s comment that she has made it a point to appreciate her husband every day. I think this project is all about that… and doing the one extra step of actually showing it, saying something, as B did to you. (And good for you for seeing all the awesome implications of the compliment.)
I really like the idea of deciding to love the thing you hate. *wanders off to make some notes in the j-book-of-love* ;-)
Love is my word of the year. I meant it in terms of the self-love variety knowing full well that being able to fully love others starts with how I feel about myself. Every day (several times a day) I ask myself, “What is in my own best interest?” The effects have been far-reaching, all-encompassing and rather surprising so far. Interestingly enough, quite often, focusing on others and what I can do for them is what’s in my own best interest. In the words of Morrie Schwartz , “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”
I’m grateful for your project and look forward to following along.
I so agree with you. And I think it’s true in ways you can’t even begin to imagine as you act on the loving impulse. Love begets love, and so showering it on your world, showers it down on you, too. I love that you’ve found a question like “What is in my own best interest?” winds up being one about love, not selfishness or isolation. That is awesome. I’m glad you’re coming along, Andrea. Thank you!
I’m in for February ~ *Big Sparkly Squishy Hugs* ♥
Ha! Of course you are, sparkly hugger. ;-)
Wow – this project is so powerful. I am flying along with you here…can’t wait to see what I find. Just one thing…I have a co-worker who is always complaining about her husband…I thought maybe she was addicted in a sense, so I told her not to mention him. When he popped in her mind, discipline her mind to look at something else. She still looked rattled and kind of stuffed up when we met. So yesterday I said, “rant like mad…tell every little thing that just pisses you off about him, even the most petty of all.” She looked very happy. I am wondering if one love project could be a month of giving permission!!
I love that, Meg. I may swap something out, or make it part of another… like “seeing” or “gifts.” In any case, your story is going into the big fat j book-o-love, because it’s cool, and it makes me think of a number of questions. Like, how did you feel? (I ask because listening to someone complaining can be pretty damn draining.)
I’m glad you’re in! We’re forming an army of love. ;-)
Great Judy. It IS draining to listen to complaints…but actually just giving her permission, to do just what she was doing, was freeing. Permission may be love on some level. Glad to be welcome in the love army…march march march.
Wonderful!
March really strikes me, as I am convinced that one of the best ways to get what you need out of a relationship is to give it. If you want lots of hugs and affection, give them. Waiting for someone to discern what you long for and then to provide it can be a damn long wait.
And one of the best things about hugs is that you can’t just give one, you get one, too. :-)
“There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be…it’s easy…”
And I think we’re all guilty of it sometimes, expecting others to know what we need, how to love us. Silly, since I can’t read minds any better than they can. I love the idea too… I am not at all crazy about the idea of reciprocity – I do this for you because you did this for me. But I do like this sort of preemptive reciprocity – I’m connecting because I need to connect. I’ve been thinking of some pretty fun ways to enact it. Way more than just hugs.
(I love when you sing.0
Awesome idea! We can never have or give too much love! I haven’t read through these comments and it may have already been stated, but do you have or have you thought of a Flickr group to add pics to? I’m a photographer and like you, my camera is always with me. It would be great to take pics of what we do in the name of LOVE and add it a Flickr group! Just a thought. By the way, here by way of Kind Over Matter. Oh, and you ROCK. ;)
Why, thank you. *preens… but just a little*
That’s a great idea! I’ve been curious about Flickr. Is it something where I can let everyone post pics in a Love Project area? I’m going to add a Love Project page here on ZS, and a link to a page like that would be awesome!
You need a button now! I would love a button to add to my blog so everyone else can get hyped up on love.
Yes! I do! I have no idea how to do that, but I will find out. That is a completely awesome idea!
I hope it’s okay, but I think you and I could work some serious magic in the world together.
Oh and I have an album of love…2 actually. One that captures “Love” in nature mostly, and one called “Love Hearts” that captures hearts all over. In cloud formations, in the sand, wherever. People send them to me. From all over the world. And February being the month of hugs…I’m on board.
:-)
I just popped over to your blog which is, among other things, stupendously named. I need more time to spend there; it’s deliciously packed! I’ll be back later to look for you hearts and read some Rita-words.
Oh, and yay! You’re on board!
YAY! You came by my place! Oh my gosh you just made me so happy!!!
Sorry I just go back to you! Yes, Flickr is something that everyone could add to! If you’re not a member of Flicrk, it’s free to join. Then you start a group, let everyone know about the group with a link, people will join and upload their pics! I hope you consider it! ;)
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