Recently, I read this article by Mitch Joel, The End of Conversation in Social Media, in which he concludes that out in the ether, not much conversation is going on at all. He says blogs have become broadcasts, with many bloggers not even bothering to respond to commenters (something I’ve noticed too). He believes Twitter’s 140-character limit is unsuited to conversation, and Facebook status updates lend themselves to banter more than actual discussion.
Depending on when you start the counting, my blog has either just celebrated its 2-year birthday (September 9, 2008, was my first post) or it will in the next few months. (I actually did not dare to tell people of its existence until January, 2009. It’s the age-old question: If a blog falls in the woods and no one is there to read it…)
Either way, it feels like a milestone, a time to reflect on why I blog and what I want this blog to be. Those are the questions I’d been pondering when I stumbled onto Mitch Joel’s piece and realized that a (big, lively, wide-ranging) conversation is exactly what I want to have here. I love my commenters, and I especially love that they are unruly, commenting on the posts, me, each other, the world at large. I have had more than one person tell me their favorite part of my blog is the comments. (I’d be more hurt by that if I didn’t agree.)
Writing is lonely. One of my favorite quotes about writing is this one from Margaret Chittenden: “Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing.”
Given my inherently sad and lonely existence, it makes sense that I would be more than a little addicted to this medium, where not only do I get an immediate response to the things I write, but I feel I am part of a community – a raucous, thoughtful, funny, curious group that is, among other things, making me a better writer.
So I’m curious. If you blog, why? And if you don’t blog, what do you look for in the blogs you read? Do you think conversation is dying out in the world of social media? What do you look for in your social media interactions?
In my tiny corner of the internet – here, on Facebook and on Twitter – conversation seems alive and well. How about you?
Well, I am one of those with a failed blog that very few people read. I don’t know what I want it to be anymore. It was called “Whatever” so I could write about whatever was on my mind. But, no one seemed to want to read what was on my mind. It began to affect what I was writing as well. And then I began to have difficulty writing anything at all, except of course my comments on other people’s blogs. I do comments well.. :)
I did better when I was writing on another online site, Newsvine.com. I had a following there and a community of writers to talk and share with. However, I was not happy with the management of the site and the lack of control. That was why I started to blog.
I do agree that Twitter is not conducive to conversation. It is more small talk, nothing real deep. Facebook can be that way too, but you can also have conversations, but not always in real time. Lately, I just want to drop out of all of it and go sit quietly in a room. It can get noisy and seems like everyone is talking at once. But then I miss people and come back.
I feel that way sometimes too, like I’m not up to keeping up. I’ve toyed with dropping off the grid for a while. I think most people have (and do, just for shorter periods of time – hours or days, not weeks or months). When I started this blog, my posts were all political. I was adrift personally and angry politically. I had just volunteered to work in Obama’s campaign office, but I needed a place to rant. I did it here. Few people read my posts and fewer commented. Which was okay. I wasn’t trying to have a conversation then, I was ranting.
After the election, I stumbled a bit, trying to figure out who I wanted to be here. I think finding your blog voice takes time, especially if you’re a generalist. Building an audience takes even longer. And now that almost everyone has a blog, it’s harder still for bloggers and readers to find each other and build relationships. I think you have to be patient beyond reason and writing stuff you care about so much, you’d write it anyway. With or without readers.
I hope you never drop away completely. I would miss you, my friend.
I was going to RT this but then it seemed more fitting to comment, especially as I am one of those bloggers who can be a bit on the slow side when it comes to replying….
Over the past few weeks, I haven’t been able to tweet as much. It’s made me realise just how much I value my online community. Yes, they gave me a way out of a very lonely existence that has also impacted on my offline existence….but it’s more than that; the conversations and chat have added a whole new dimension to my world and completely expanded the horizons. I learn more, laugh more, engage more, share more – and it all takes place in dialogue.
So no, I don’t think that conversation is dead. I think it requires more effort and more risk, but it’s available and amazing…
Happy 2nd Birthday. May your blog grow old and mischevious. It has added so much to my on and offline world. xx
Melissa, Your experience is an example of the warmth, humor and sense of community that can be built online. It’s something that is so obvious the instant one interacts with you. I felt it from our first exchange and was an instant fan. (And like all your fans, I keep watch for the latest updates on your current adventure.)
“I learn more, laugh more, engage more, share more – and it all takes place in dialogue.” That has been my experience too. And, like you, my interactions online have made me more outgoing in my physical world. I think the key (at least for me) has been sticking with the relationships that feed me. The people who engage, who make me think, and laugh, and feel better for the time I spend with them. Like you.
I’m really glad you wrote this blog about blogging. As a new blogger myself and a reader of other people’s blogs to be honest, it’s a very large community. To try to keep up with everyone’s blogs is difficult for me. Many of the people I follow on Twitter have blogs that I have never visited, some I visit fairly frequently, some rarely.
Blogging, to be bold, is like the “elephant” in the room. Everyone seems to have one and everyone is human, they would like theirs to be read. I didn’t have any expectations when I started mine and I have evolved emotionally since February ’10 when I started it. I was taking it very personally, when I received very little traffic and even fewer comments. I felt as though I was being ignored in the blogging community. Gradually, it mattered less and less to me. The readers I have attracted have been so gracious and kind having taken the time to stop by read and leave a comment.
My blog has had about 2200 hits and about 300 comments. That ratio used to bother me alot. I would wonder who reading, and if so why they didn’t leave a comment. The insecure part of me assumed that approx. 85% of the traffic, didn’t like it.
Writing this comment, a funny new word just popped into my head, “blogligation”. I read blogs because I enjoy the varied and interesting things that people have to say or information or creative writing they share. I feel bad that I can’t get to everyone’s blog on a regular basis. There are just so many, and all really well worth the time it takes to read them. I wouldn’t like to think that if I read someone’s blog and comment that it make them, somehow feel obligated to read mine. “blogligation”
I can understand Mary’s comment above, Mary I’m sad that you refered to your blog as “failed”. I had a period with mine that I thought it had failed also. It’s very emotional to put yourself out there and not get much or any feedback. Fairly recently, I let all the emotional baggage attached to blogging go. I feel that I have come far enough that I can accept my little blog for what it is. If just one person since February enjoyed or related to something I’ve written, then, to me, that is a success. Like I said, I have no expectations. I don’t expect people to read and comment because I read and comment on theirs. I don’t expect everyone who reads it to make themselves known. I don’t expect every post to receive the same amount of attention.
I’m enjoying just being part of a wonderful blogging community. I really do appreciate every single person who comes to my blog, comments or not. I enjoy being able to write original material again. My blog is not very condusive to conversation as it is mostly poetry and some short little stories. I do enjoy your blog Judy because it is more inclined to induce conversation, bringing people together, sharing opinions. I think true, great conversations are meant for real life. The internet fails in that area.
Last week I received a DM from a long time twitter friend. After a few DM’s back and forth , I asked her to call me. It was a sensitive subject and very important to my friend. She needed advice and support. We spoke on the phone (for the first time) for over an hour. She really was grateful and felt much better at the end of our phone conversation. There is no way we could have DM’d our way through the issue she was having.
This is getting very lengthy, I have spoken to several of my Twitter friends on the phone and even had one come and visit and stay at my home for 2 days. Much conversation during that time. In closing, I think that the internet can connect us, find what we have in common and get the ball rolling for friendship. Beyond that, true conversation……not so much.
Great blog, timely subject. I can’t wait to read all of the comments this is going to get.
<3 Joanne
I agree there are limits to any form of written communication. First, it’s not real time. Even chatting isn’t quite real time, and in its polished, grammatically (more) correct way, written communication fails, sometimes, to connect people in the human (imperfect, wonderful) way that the physical world does. Like you, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting online friends in real life (or talking on the phone) and it’s always stunning to hear a voice, see a face… animated!
But realizing its limitations, I do think that real conversations can and do happen. We may well be engaging in one now. (Feel free to come back and tell me if we are!) A few days ago I talked with two other writers on Twitter about writing platforms. I learned a lot. I also know I can go back to those two people if I have questions. They are wandering their way through the same maze.
Great comment, Joanne, thank you. And for the record, I love when you share your poetry, and your haiku in my twitter stream often takes my breath away with its unexpected beauty. I’m quite happy that you shine your light out into the ether!
I started a very short-lived blog before I became a tweeter. I was not well-schooled on the purpose of a blog. My children (grown sons) convinced me that I ought to blog. That may have been their way of helping me channel musings, rants and to find a soft landing for the cynical and satirical quip. It may have been their way of helping me through the emotional turmoil of breast cancer treatment and the subsequent severe heart damage caused by chemo. In any case, my thoughts and words felt either too private or too biting to share with unknown others.
Then along came twitter. I touched my toe into it’s tumbling waters, unsure of what I would find there. I was slow to engage. Hesitant. Initially twitter was a platform for me to engage with people from my real life. Conversation snapshots in which the innuendo, eye rolling, and wry smile could be conjured. I waded in the twitter stream a little deeper and found humor, knowledge, poetry and politics. Links to nebulae and icefloes, a yfrog image of a toddlers hands, must reads, and turns of phrases that capture my wandering mind. I imagined myself to be a part of a dialogue.
I latched a sliver of self-esteem onto RT’s and followers. Then I began to feel left out. I am am not famous, or interesting, or brilliant. I did not realize that I had invaded a little club of wiser, deeper, more talented folks. I should have gone back to the kitchen to take my supper there.
Kate, I love Twitter for the normal people, yes I just called us both normal :) I think that there is nobody on Twitter more enjoyable than the non-famous. The “famous” and “brilliant” talk to us, not with us. If it is a big conversation, then I’d much rather talk with people like you, than a famous actor or business tycoon, any day. :o)
Though it makes me very sad, I love your response. You description of Twitter is poetic and precise. It is exactly my experience as well. Exactly. Except that after I had that feeling of being left out, I completely changed how I interact. Letting go of expectation on Twitter (much as Joanne did with her blog) was the key to my being okay out there. I stopped worrying about whether I was witty enough (which, clearly, I’m not… read my feed), or if the popular kids liked me, or if the famous people returned my calls.
It has made all the difference in the world to me. I feel that my interactions on Twitter are authentic. Even the lightweight, silly ones, because sometimes lightweight and sill is exactly what I need. My tweet count is astronomically high because I engage in conversation, and my follow count is kind of low because I look for people who engage me (and, to a lesser extent, entertain and inform me).
Twitter can play on our insecurities. Everyone seems funnier, smarter, more successful than we are. The cool kids never talk to us. No one notices when we’re gone. But I’ve found that once I stopped worrying about all of that, once I focused on being just me, the best people responded. A lesson that I’ve learned in life – the physical world too – over and over again. Be me, and I will attract the people who love (the real) me.
I hope you work through your twitter angst. I hope it helps to know I share it (and every now and then have to shake it off now too). Thank you so much for commenting here. I think a lot of people have experienced the same thing you have.
For me, social media is conversation. I think many of us that read this blog interact on twitter and understand that we engage in rather thought provoking discussions sometimes on twitter.
Blogging is just another medium to engage people. And you my friend do that exceptionally well
Thank you, same to you, my friend. I agree completely that there are thought-provoking conversations happening out there. And, just like in real life, there are beautifully mundane and touching conversations happening as well.
Speaking of which… where is that blog you promised, busy man. I want some recipes.
Hmm, What was the question again? I was deep in thought, way too early in the morning for thinking J. :o) Happy Anniversary to Zebra Sounds! I think I’ve been coming here for what, about a year, or a little longer maybe – time seems to fly by for me, so I can’t remember. I love your blog and others that I visit regularly because of: the blogger, the interesting topics, the way they make me think, the different perspectives I find in the subject and the comments, um – pretty much what you do here. I like that. :o)
I don’t blog. I have a place where I put things I am thinking, but that is because I am too wordy and don’t have an editor for Twitter, so I brain dump on a page. I have to admit, when I first started it, I thought – nobody will read this it’s just for me, I really don’t want anyone to read this, but I feel the need to get it out into the world, just so that it wasn’t only in my brain anymore. Well a few friends did read what I said and at first I was self-conscious, because who the hell am I? Then I realized, well a) everyone has a blog and b) why not me? Well that’s not entirely true. I am using my place to find my voice again I guess. And not in some melodramatic way, it’s just that I have these walls (yes, the same ones we all have), and I feel that putting stuff on that site is a way to break down my walls, or at least to build a door :) (baby steps). I was thinking about social media the other day, well in a sense. I think that what Joanne said is perfect. It will introduce you to interesting people and ideas, but it is not the best for real communication. I was thinking about someone – how well do I know this person? Do I even know this person at all? I am me, for better or worse out here. Maybe a little more comfortable to say what I think to strangers, but for the most part I am me. I don’t think that’s true of many ppl out here, and sadly I have just started to figure that out. Not that there is anything wrong with having a social media image versus being yourself. For many writers, that is the point of being here. To get people interested in you, and ultimately your work. I think that’s fine, in fact if done right, I think it’s genius. But for some reason, I was under the impression that people were on twitter to talk, to be just regular people. oops. naive. For those of us who have become friends, and to whom I feel I may actually know on a more personal level, yay! For those whom I know as they want to be presented for future book sales and what not, that’s fine too. I just kinda wish there was an easier way to distinguish the different types. I believe I just surpassed my rambling record, doubled it in fact. Thanks J! <3 Zebra Sounds, <3 you!! xo c
Casoly, I had lunch with an old friend (he’s not old, we’ve just known each other a long time). He doesn’t tweet or FB and he barely can make himself use email. We were talking about this very thing. He was speculating that it’s easy to think you know someone, especially bloggers because they use so many words, but the truth is, you know only the part of themselves they’re willing to share.
I said, “That’s true in the physical world too. We know what people present to us.” And he said “Yes, but in the physical world, your words are only part of it. Your voice and eyes and body language and pauses are also part of it, whether you want them to be or not.”
So maybe we’re back to yesterday’s conversation. Maybe the key is to hesitate. Give relationships a chance to breathe. Know that we have time. And hesitate most with those who act like we don’t. ;-)
Well of course I think we had this conversation at your house over dinner. Power of a blog vs. say a short story. Yesterday was a good example for me. You wrote about Shaw’s quote something along the lines of Disappointment being not having something and something we felt once we got it. I was so drawn to the pathos of the quote I didn’t engage with what I guess was the point of the blog which was that you wanted Belgian Waffles. After a zillion people responded about the waffles, and my lone – suddenly frighteningly weird looking post about desire with not a crumble or creme about waffles I felt like I was in my own world. But the blog engaged me certainly in looking at how I see the world through what other people say and how everyone else must see it. Very thought provoking. I kept checking back througout the day to see if anyone else was thinking about the quote. Then I realized the point was your relationship to the quote and what you wanted and …well you get the point. I was engaging in your root process while everyone else was engaging with your desires!
Food for thought…..groan!
Well, that wasn’t a blog, it was a FB status. To me there’s a big difference. If I were to quote George Bernard Shaw here, I’d explore the pathos of his statement, and I’d do it in a much more verbose way than anything I post on FB.
I view a FB status completely differently than I do a blog. While I do sometimes throw something meaty out there for all of us to chew on, in a tiny FB status box, I’m just as likely to toss out a softball so we can all play. Here, in ZS, I always have a point (no matter how obscure), but on FB, I might not always have an answer to someone who asks “What was the point of that status?” I’m simply answering the question it asks… What’s on your mind? (My mind is a curious place.)
That said, shallow, deep, lyrical or off the wall, I have learned that you just never know where a comment thread will go. That’s one of the things I love about them. They veer off madly (or they don’t, and you can’t get people off the subject of waffles no matter how hard you try)!
Well, I blog because it gives me the stage on which I can write whatever I want to write. I don’t get many comments, perhaps because I am writing more essay-like posts. When I do get comments, they are interesting.
When I wrote a post about confronting Impeach Obama proponents at our local library, I got one comment chastising me for not knowing that there were good reasons to have him impeached. I asked her to respond with specifics, but she never did. I was hoping for some dialog, but there you are.
I’m not sure what I think of cyber-space as a way to have conversations. The art of writing letters has definitely gone the way of spoolies. I keep hoping that cyberspace might provide that.
My concern about the whole social media thing is what it is doing to information. Groups are using it to organize groups of like-minded people. Unfortunately, they are using the Internet in the worse possible way, supporting their arguments by referring to blogs and nefarious “journalists.” My mother had a magnet on her refrigerator that read, “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
I guess I’m a proponent of having conversations face to face, just because you get the sensory information as well as the words. That’s my foundation for relationships. But if I meet someone interesting in cyber space, no reason not to pursue it.
I think this might be a well-she-had-no-conclusion comment. But then, I’m a Libra, so it’s alway well there’s this and then there’s that.
I agree with your non-conclusion. Let’s go have coffee!
I think you make an excellent point about groups of like-minded people. I worry about that too. And as we become more polarized, that problem becomes more and more apparent. In my own case, I can’t stand to listen to the far right spew. (My word choice there reveals my inability to stay open-minded.) I am guilty of the thing I worry about, because I can’t listen to Limbaugh be a racist or Beck be a prophet without feeling sick. Other than NPR, it’s hard to even find balanced news anymore.
To bring this all back to my topic, you are very good at having a conversation – in person and online. I admire that. You will seek out your opposition and have it out with them (instead of getting discouraged and feeling like you need to take a shower). With people like you in our midst, conversation will never die!
Judy, I can’t tell if I’m replying to you or me. Am I having a conversation with myself when I mean for it to be with you? I’ve even had my coffee this morning, imagine if I hadn’t.
As for calling it far right spew, I think the word choice is accurate. It just keeps getting uglier and nastier.
Let’s have coffee and I’ll fill you in on my lates romps through Pledge of Renewal. I’ve actually found some people who support me there.
When I first started, I blogged because I love cooking good food, eating good food, and sharing the experiences and recipes with others. Today, the reasoning still stands. 100%. But, there’s no denying that feedback/comments (and personal e-mails) feed and nourish the blogging soul. I love love love to hear from my readers.
My idea of a blog was that there would be interaction. “Discussion” as you say. I have been surprised and somewhat disappointed in the lack of exchange in blogging. Especially among food blogs. I’ve even posted actual questions that never get answered.
There’s a lot of implied “I’ll post a comment on your blog if you post one on mine” type bullshit. I don’t play that. Blogs that I follow, I do so because they truly interest me, so I always take the time to read the entire post. I don’t skim them, just so I can get a soundbite to comment on. If I don’t have anything worthy or relevant to say, than I don’t post a comment. Also, I don’t always have time to read posts within hours of them going live. Because of this, I don’t get the 150 comments per post that a lot of my counterparts do.
So, I relish my regular followers that really read, try the recipes, laugh with (or at) me feeding two young kids, and are joining me on the full ride. And I have made a few genuine friends through the blog and Twitter, for which I am grateful.
None of us do it for the money, that’s for sure!
Oh no! I’m guilty. I try your recipes a lot. I have one for tostadas on my refrigerator to make this week. (I even got brave and modified it a little. Gah!) So let me say, first off, thank you for your blog and I love it. Secondly, I will stay the extra few minutes sometimes and comment.
That said, I could not agree with you (and Joanne) more about the unspoken reciprocity rule. I love this: “Blogs that I follow, I do so because they truly interest me, so I always take the time to read the entire post. I don’t skim them, just so I can get a soundbite to comment on. If I don’t have anything worthy or relevant to say, than I don’t post a comment.”
I feel the same way and would add that frequently I don’t have time to do more than read the post. A well thought out comment takes time. (I know, I’ve been commenting on your well thought out comments for almost an hour!) Your thoughtfulness is reflected in the comments you do choose to make, and I am insanely grateful for those.
Yikes. No, J! Do not ever feel like you have to comment. You’re spot on – it does take thought and extra time to hang out and write something. So, write when you want, write when you can, write when you have something to share. But do not ever feel like you have to. I never want readers to feel pressure to do so…that’s where you start getting “wow. that looks great” a hundred times. And I am not tit for tat – I never comment on someone else’s blog (like yours) so that they’ll comment back.
And I do understand that a lot of followers lurk. They will never post a comment. And that’s okay.
My point was just that I do love the feedback. It’s a little high to know someone out there is paying attention, reading, and enjoying. I just wish there was more interaction between the readers themselves. Like here. You have great readers, who actually talk to each other.
No blogligation, promise! I think it’s particularly challenging with a food blog because your blog is so useful. I laughed typing that, but it’s true. I know for me, I sail in, read, laugh often, think how cute you and your whole family is, and then I print the recipe and my mind is off on that whole cooking thing (which we both know is not my forte).
So clearly, the answer is for you to stop being helpful and also, maybe not to include the awesome pictures that always make me think “Oooo, I want to make that.”
Wait, no. Scratch all that.
p.s. My dishes never actually look like yours. I will take a picture of the next one I make for you. Try not to cry.
A great conversation!
I think people use social media for a variety of things. When I started my blog 10 months ago, I don’t think I could have stated my purpose precisely; regardless, it’s certainly evolved. I blog for three reasons: (1) to give myself some discipline for writing (a deadline of sorts); (2) to make people laugh; (3) to force myself to notice the little things. Reasons 1 and 3 are for me; reason 2 is for my readers.
In my opinion, social media is not meant to replace real conversations; it is more of a gateway to them. Whether or not we ever progress to real conversations is another question that may have a more sobering answer.
But I do think social media has a place. In our increasingly isolating society, it is a way to meet others while we sit at home virtually alone in our castles. Again, it’s not ideal, but it helps.
I read recently (don’t ask me where – perhaps another problem of too much information) that people who are isolated with disabilities have had much success with social media. If it can give some voice to those who are often marginalized or forgotten, then it definitely serves a clear purpose.
Thanks for providing the space to comment, and happy blogiversary!
(By the way, I love Joanne’s term” blogligation”!)
I think your #3 may be the best reason I’ve ever heard for blogging. That you notice the little things with such humor and grace is wonderful for all of us!
To your point, I think there will always be limits to how far a written conversation can go. It lacks the spontaneity that can (and often does) lead to unbelievable insight, creativity, emotion, love. But as you point out, it can be a gateway. It can also be an effective substitute for people with limited physical interaction. It does serve a purpose, I agree. And part of the art of it (yeah… I think it’s an art) is figuring out what purpose it serves for you.
I love “blogligation” too! (The word, not the condition.)
I write my blog to help folks with fishing related things….I used to be a bit more “how to” but have steered away from that because there are thousands of those sites.
Now, I mostly write about my trips and funny happenings. Not sure why everyone reads about a fat, bald guy kayak fishing, but they do. Maybe it’s the pictures…..
I was recently asked to do a speaking engagement at a kayak shop, which made me start thinking……
Haha! We read because you’re funny and well written and, yes, you take AWESOME pictures. I’m certainly not reading because I want to learn to fish. (Though I am still hoping for a kayak ride someday!)
eighteen months ago I’d never heard of the word “blog”. Since joining a writing group where others spoke of their blogs, I began to visit theirs and join in conversations. Then a fellow writer came to my house and helped me create a blog.
It began as a writing blog. All things writing. I sought out other writers and vice versa. But something happens with blogs about the writing journey sometimes (I don’t think it can be helped being what it is), and that is it comes off as whiney. The publishing business has kept any good news from surfacing and we writers are absorbing the negative vibes and passing them off on our blogs.
Naturally I’ve gotten burned out (as evidenced by my infrequent postings), so I decided it will be a humor blog. Since I write humor, and since I link to my humor publications whenever I get lucky and have one, I decided humor should be my niche.
But take no notice that my last post was 15 days ago. It takes me a while to translate my funny thoughts into concise and readable material.
P.S. I get more page hits when I write my posts while PMSing. Maybe I’ll post every 28 days.
I think a humor blog (which frequently features your published work) is perfect. I decided the same thing, in a way. I write about life and love and people working through stuff and hearts getting broken and then mended, and three legged dogs… All the stuff I write about here, only with better metaphors and colorful dialogue.
I figure if you like me here, you’ll like my other work too. Including the book, which I hope to be handing YOU at the end of this month. (Or just a wee bit into next month.)
p.s. A pms post every 28 days. I like it! And like women who live together, I’ll get on your cycle so your constant whining and bitching will feel like it’s on my behalf. (And I mean that in the sweetest possible way.)
I look forward to the book, which I know I’ll LOVE.
Rebecca’s comment just reminded me that I hadn’t yet commented on “Hesitate.” One of the reasons I hadn’t was because I had an entirely different take on it than any of the other comments. Reading other comments made me unsure of my own. I was taking it a little deeper than they were. At first I just had difficulty writing what I was feeling about the post. Then it became something else. I need to go back and look at it again.
I would love to hear your take on it, Mary. Maybe yours was close to mine!
I’m sorry I didn’t comment on your blog. Wishing you the best whatever you do. *Hugs*
Since social media and social networking are so vast, I always think of it as different for different people. I am not a writer. I did not start any of this because I wanted to write. I started all of it to share something I love with people. I wanted to share the Joy of Nia with people and help make Nia a household name.
When I first started I kept things separate: FaceBook was started for me and was supposed to be for business, but the second I jumped on I wanted to keep it just friends and people I actually knew face to face, Twitter was also started for me and was just business, and I started the blog to share healthful information and to introduce people to Nia. But then it all got jumbled. I am friends on FB with all kinds of people some are just business associates, some are friends, some are friends that I have never met face to face (but they are still friends), I “talk” to people on Twitter . . . no it is not a long conversation, but we exchange information. I feel like I have made friends on Twitter. My blog is primarily healthful, but sometimes I dabble in other areas (like Twitter). I love when people comment and share additional information.
I try not to let the numbers (followers, friends, views, clicks, reads, comments, notifications, etc.) bother me when they are low, but sometimes they do. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE comments–the ones that are “real” — not the ones that are just advertising their stuff. (I get a lot of “love this post, check out my abblaster2000000″ or “great information, did you know you could lose 20 lbs in a day with my supplement?”)
So to answer your question I blog to share information and to share Nia, and I love to hear what people have to say about the stuff I share.
I do understand that it is difficult to get around to reading everyone’s blog all the time. I have a hard time keeping up. There are some people that post everyday . . . .I can’t always keep up. I post on specific days and I try to keep them short. My hope was short posts would be quick for people to read and they would feel like they learned something fast and specific days so that they know when to expect a post.
Your commentors are always so bright and witty, I sometimes feel silly commenting, but often times I just want to cheer you on! Then *I’m* the one commenting “Great post.” (sigh)
HUGS TO YOU, J! (When do I get to give you an in person hug?)
I’ve had a number of people tell me that – that my commenters are so funny and articulate and smart, they are reluctant to jump in. I find it strange that the people who say that are so often funny, articulate and smart. (Yes, I’m looking at you.)
Know that I value your comments, insights and enthusiasm more than I can say. I wish I had more to say about Nia, but I love how much you love it. It shines through every word you write on the subject.
In person hugs? Yay! Stay tuned!
Thanks, J. I do try my best to sparkle over here (on your blog) for you! I also try to be LOUD in cheering you on.
That you know of Nia helps a lot. And one of these days you might come shake your groove thing with me. :-)
You are top on my list of people with whom I would like to shake my groove thing!
I started my blog as a platform to improve my writing. But then I soon learned the obstacles and fears of delineating a blog that communicates, at times, a personal, vulnerable side of yourself. It really depends on the type of blog you create too. Another reason I started to blog is that sense of community, something I discovered here at ZS, and something you successfully created here. Thank you, J :)
I forgot to say that although I have those struggles with my blog, it’s not something I’m going to let stop me from continuing to blog. It’s something I have to overcome, which I learned here, of course!
I agree, Eman. The hardest posts are personal. The nice part (or at least I find it comforting) is that blogs evolve with their authors, so you can take some time to figure out what “type of blog” you are creating and what you’re comfortable revealing. That is a constant process for me. It is the question I ask myself most often: “Am I willing to post THIS?” ;-)
wow :~)
I started my blog over at myspace… I went looking for an author…we never connected… but I just started writing things… because I always had this thought of “Things to say before I go ” and thought what if my family just threw away all my crap when I died and the important things I thought were never shared…. :~( so my blogs are just that … things I think… things I feel…
I came looking for the connections to humans….. knowing always that we are all connected… you just need to open the lines…. and Twitter OMG what a wonderful thing… it is up to you how you use it… so many poeple I know think I’m nuts talking to complete strangers.. and alot truely think that most people online aren’t who they say they are… but I have not found that at all… the more I connect the more people open… the more we share the more we care…. one hand holds the next… and so on we march into tomorrow changing the way we communicate.
we each have a point of view
we each have something to share
and yes even face to face we can not be trueful if that is what we choose to do.
I was moved to tear by the words of a stranger… in our shared sorrow we became friends… she is a stranger no more.
this can be said about the world… one on one we share our stories… and in the sharing learn to care more… to open our hearts more.
I have learned alot of things in the last 2 years since being on Twitter
that connecting with people is a NOW thing… I use to come home and scroll back 8 hours to try and catch up… and reply to every tweet … and I have come to know that life happens right now… yesterday and tomorrow are dreams… and being here.. being aware.. and sharing is more important and in the long run will help us all see that we are ripples in the pond of life affecting eachother
your blog rocks…. it is it’s own little world where we come and share
thanks :~)
More than once, I have logged into Twitter feeling blue and have been cheered by the people there. It really is like walking into a room full of people, a hundred conversations in full swing – politics, fashion, food, technology, news, relationships, family – all you need is to find the one that pulls you in.
I like the idea that through your blog you’re leaving behind a piece of yourself for your family to always have. A lovely thought. From a lovely woman. If my blog rocks, it is due to people like you!
Wow, now this is conversation! I may have to re-think my ideas of the internet in general not being condusive to great conversation. Although, I did, Judy, say that your blog always bends the mind in such a way, that you can not help but to become engaged. Even if I feel I don’t really get it some times, I’ve gained the confidence to just reflect and offer my take on it.
Thank you for the lovely comment about my poetry. I’m a little teary as I write this. Wether you want to accept the responsibility or not, you are a big reason for starting to blog. When I e-mailed that poem to you, I was so nervous and scared and you offered up a nice complement. I will always be grateful for that time you took. I was even scared to ask if I could send you somthing. I was so, so shy back then about my writing.
Tonight is “publishing eve” for me. As you know, one of my blog poems, a newer piece, is being published tomorrow. If you recall my very first post called “Words” was me just screaming in pain and whining that I would NEVER write again. Well, I did start to write again and was bold and confident enough to submit 2 pieces to a small, on-line publication. You already know this because you commented on my blog about me being published for the first time. (excuse redundancy)
I want to offer my humble gratitude to you for (A) being the first person on Twitter to read something I wrote . (B) Being always gracious when I first started comming to your blog. You have no idea how scary it was for me at first to comment here. I felt underedcuated, underread, and just under a heap of insecurity. I felt I was so far out of my league befriending all of you in our community that I would just be a laughing stock. (C) You being you, what you write about. The magic of your light and how, no matter what the subject is, I always leave here better, brighter and more informed.
You have brought so much to my table with what you do. I can only hope that I can reflect some of that amazingly bright sparkle back on to you. Thank you.
<3 and a hug…Joanne
Wow! Now who’s teary eyed? Thank you so much for this, Joanne.
I’m so excited for you on this, your “publishing eve.” Yay!!! So often it is the most humble and shy among us who have the most graceful voices. I’m beyond happy that you are sharing yours freely now… even when it’s scary!
Love and hugs back to you, my wonderful, poetic friend! Woo hoo! Tomorrow! :: happy dance::
I’m drowning in details for this Convention I’m about to attend/work at(doesn’t take much to drown me, or rather, my brain). I have resisted the urge to carefully read all the other comments, which I normally do (I had to skim though and I think Karen H. just gave me a new favorite word (nefarious) AND top ten quote). I just want to say thank you for that quote about writers staring at walls like they (we) are in a mad house . . . it makes me feel like a ‘real’ writer. One thing that struck me though is that I am/we are staring at screens or pages much more often, of course, than a wall or walls … AND, what I wish to do is what YOU do all the time and that is TEAR DOWN WALLS and touch people . . . it’s funny, in a tragic way. We must be sentenced to all this isolation in order to really touch people. YOU DO THAT!!
Yes, but I am learning the value of touching people (and be touched) in the physical word too – living life in order to better write it. I recently read a wonderful piece by Dani Shapiro on this subject. It’s short – two paragraphs – so I’ll give you the link. She says, “The goal, I think, is to balance oneself in the fulcrum between thinking about life and actually living it.”
http://danishapiro.com/2010/08/on-inwardness/
Thank you for stopping by busy woman! You know how I love to see you here. (And everywhere else, for that matter.)
Not sure I am replying correctly . @Casoly I appreciate your response. I will look forward to continuing our new-found conversation. And let’s put ourselves in the ‘regular folks’ category. Your friend, #notquitenormal Kate
@j I’m slightly distressed that my reply saddened you. But I take your words as encouragement. My angst was probably overdone. But, like you, I believe in authenticity. Your new friend, Authentik8. Again, gracias.
Before I come back and comment, I need to set time aside to read all of these wonderful comments and your replies, Judy… I love that I know so many of the folks who have commented, so it’s really like having a chat with friends. I’ll be back after I read all of these!
Yes, read the comments. My commenters rock. ;-)
Hi Judy,
I am reading your blog for the first time, and I feel like saying hi! like when you meet a new person at a party, or in a friend’s house etc.
Felt like saying a couple of things,
I do stare at walls like you, but mine is of a different colour.
I do work lonely, but on a different PC,
I do have a life, but in a different country.
In all these differences, we share a few things
Like you, I am trying to draw a picture,
a colourful mosaic of your life, my life,
Your colour from your wall, and my colour from mine… so our big picture (as an online writer/blogger) is more colourful than the story of a non writer
I guess, this is why I write blogs.
At the end of the day, if you want to feel what I feel, or just humour me, come and write a comment.
It will no longer be monochromatic but will be colourful..
At the end of the day I am still happy as there is a beauty in both…
This is why I feel I would continue to write even If have listeners or not…
Hi, back. Your link is dead. But I do appreciate your thoughts here. Thank you for joining in.
J-ster!
Umm, 47 comments and counting. I’m thinking comments aren’t completely dead ;-)
My first post was on Sept 6, 2008. Ahh, kindred souls.
Hope you are doing fine, m’dear. Say howdy at FOW if ya get the chance!
George
Ha! It’s not impressive as it sounds. I don’t usually reply to each comment separately (which inflates the comment numbers), but I did this time because the comments were so long and well thought out, I wanted to make sure I gave them the attention they deserve.
I have missed you! So happy to find you here, if only briefly. I will pass on your FOW hello. <3
Hi Judy.. This is pleiad here.. Well I am just getting used to wordpress… you can now read my blog by clicking this user name.. :-)
I just read you and commented. Quite an arresting and lovely post on jazz and rain.
You, Ms j, were the first one I told about my poetry blog, the first visitor and the first to tweet about it. So thank you for all of that. I originally wanted a food blog. Then the poetry blog. Then I freaked out that 200 strangers a day were reading my poems ~ every word of which contained part of my heart and soul, so I closed it down. I can’t do a blog now because of my health, but I would like to do another one someday ~ a mix of poetry, food, music, musings, who knows what. I used to love twitter and the conversations, but things happened, I got overwhelmed and I took a two month break. I never did go back to it the way I had originally been. Two weeks ago (I think) I deleted my account. I vacillate between thinking I should just have taken another break from it and feeling it was necessary. Even though I’m trying to keep in touch with most of the closest friends I made via email, it’s getting more and more difficult because of my health problems. I miss my friends, I miss the writers and artists and photographers and poets and foodies who filled my corner of the twitterverse for almost a year. I don’t even know if anyone has noticed that my account is gone. I’ve always kept facebook only for family and now use it only to monitor my granddaughter’s activities (with her knowledge at my daughter’s request.) All I can add is don’t delete your twitter account. Take as long a break as you want/need to but don’t delete it because you can never get that name back. Great post & comments. *Hugs* & *Smooches* (Please excuse any typos – have the zoom level set at 200 but still really blurry – I’ll have to come back tomorrow to finish catching up on your posts.)
Seems the struggle to categorize and understand our relationships, especially our online ones, is universal. I definitely understand the impulse to delete an account, sink yourself into your physical world and all that is knowable there (a great deal more, I think, than out here in the ether).
And yet…
There is something quite wonderful about this, as hard as it is to maneuver. In the ether, geography means nothing (well, except for the pesky time differences). Age, ethnicity, location seem to play lesser roles on the internet. We exchange ideas, witticisms, support, even love, based on the tiny sliver of ourselves we we can fit into a blog post or comment. (Or – even more challenging – into a 140-character tweet.)
It’s wonderful and scary. Connections are often fast and furious… and, I think, real, to answer a question I keep being asked (and have asked myself). How to manage it all is the trick, and we’re all feeling our way through it. It’s a brave new world.
The ether, I’m learning, is not a place for the timid.
Love and hugs, Dani. I am optimistic that your health problems are temporary, and I look forward to the blog you describe. It sounds like it would be a wonderful place for me sit with my coffee, feet up, contemplating life’s sparklies. ;-)
Wow, what a response. I’m not jealous at all.
I have a feeling that most of us would post even if nobody ever came along to read or comment. I know that I was tied in to my response stats for the first little while, and I still love seeing the visit clicker go up (slowly), or find that someone’s decided what they read was worth a ‘follow’. But they mean less to me now than when I started. I’d still put it out there no matter what.
But I do, seriously, envy the conversation you facilitate. That kind of response and interaction is amazing, and it speaks tons to what you are doing and have done. Creating a community with that kind of support and inclusion is a wonderful thing.
I definitely think the writers would keep right on writing. Obviously. We did before blogs existed, right? It’s hard not to get caught up in the numbers, but I found when I stopped paying such close attention, I started writing what I care about instead of what I think people want (which is always a moving target). I’m lucky that some really great people have found me. Like you!
I get jealous every time I read your blog. So we’re even.
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