Eckhart Tolle has been whispering in my ear. Which leads me to a digression. (Yep, I’m off track before I’ve even gotten started. Be afraid.)
My friend loaned me CDs of Eckhart Tolle reading his book The New Earth. I’ve been loading them on my phone and then listening when I take Lexi for her walks. My phone, like every electronic device I own, delights in messing with me, so it plays all the tracks out of order, occasionally throwing in ring tones and voice recordings just to keep me guessing.
Not to point a finger or anything, but if I don’t seem very enlightened to you, my Motorola dumb phone is not entirely blameless.
Okay, so yesterday Eckhart Tolle said this: “Being aware of your breathing takes attention away from thinking and creates space.” He’s not the first breath advocate to whisper in my ear, but yesterday I understood, as never before, just how possible it is to breathe your way through a difficult moment. (By “you,” I, of course, mean “me.” And by “difficult,” I mean “wild-eyed, crazy, irrationally panic-filled.”)
Here’s how I know.
On day one of our scuba dive training, we donned our tanks and experienced for the first time the awesomeness of breathing underwater. It was cool, but also unnerving. Even as I was doing it, my brain was insisting that it could not be done, and it was in the midst of this cognitive dissonance that the instructor took us to the deep end and told us we needed to breathe on the pool floor without our masks for at least one minute.
“We’ll all go down, you’ll take off your masks, and I’ll tap your head when you’ve gone long enough,” he said.
So, along with everyone else, I went down. Almost immediately, I felt uneasy, but when I took off my mask, my discomfort turned to panic. Without a mask, the bubbles from my regulator bounced crazily against my face. They were loud and wild, and the pool, with my eyes closed, seemed vast and silent. I felt something akin to claustrophobia, a desperate desire to escape. My brain, which had never bought into the whole breathing underwater thing in the first place was screaming at me. “Go up! This is crazy! You need real air!”
But just before I bolted to the surface, another voice (probably my lungs) assured me that I was, in fact, breathing. White knuckling my mask, I focused on that, the mechanics of my breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Deep, slow. I noticed how I floated a little when my lungs were full, and I sunk as they emptied. I felt the rhythm of my breath, the expansion of my chest, the not-too-scary-totally-predictable rush of bubbles against my unmasked face.
I was just getting into it when the instructor tapped my head. Honestly, I was a little disappointed. I’d gone from being totally freaked out and ready to abort, to being calm, focused, absolutely in the moment.
Which brings me back to Eckhart Tolle and his advice to breathe with awareness. Truthfully, I can’t really see myself becoming Echart Tolle-esque. I’ll never be that calm, never speak in such soothing tones, never live my life in a continual state of surrender to, and acceptance of, the essential “is” in every moment.
I’ll never be Eckhart Tolle. But maybe… I can breathe like him.
Wild
Sounds as if your desire to learn something new–a new hobby–taught you something you can use in everyday life. I love when that happens.
Your lessons sound fascinating!
Love it! Who says this wasn’t already a fantastic “sparkly awesome” adventure? I mean I realize that the diving part hasn’t happened (yet), but great lessons have already been learned/enjoyed/realized. So I’m counting this as an unqualified success already, the dive will just be icing on the cake (or chocolate curls on top of the cheesecake?) :o) I need to learn to breathe period. Thanks for sharing J! xo
I don’t have to be underwater to experience those moments of wild/crazy panic that makes my heartbeat actually painful to feel, though people around me don’t suspect a thing.
I realized that I do take shallow breaths. So deeper ones, it is. Inhale. Exhale. And I’ll tap myself on the arm to let me know it’s all good.
Terre, I love when that happens too. Maybe it means we’re pursuing the right hobbies. (Wishful thinking is one of my favorite pastimes.)
Caroline, You make me smile! You’d think breathing would be more soundly the default, wouldn’t you?
Marisa, Me too! I’ve had those moments where I can’t believe no one is noticing that my heart’s about to beat its way out of my chest! I haven’t been tested yet above water, but I think the deep breathing might properly distract me here too. (Tapping yourself on the arm made me laugh.)
i totally know those feelings/sensations – scuba’s truly a mental sport as well. all those inner voices we have both working for us and against us. hoepfully the for us ones win out, most times they do. especially when i’ve made mistakes underwater & you have to ‘think’ your way out of it. like tangled in fishing line.
I have learned the value of breathing this year, when a bad bout of pneumonia. It’s such a simple thing, but so complex. Still working on it…
I think it’s so much more panicky when you feel all those things and aren’t under water; but the same applies, to breathe.
This was such a wonderful post, it relaxed me now before my trip and that’s saying something! :)
All I can say is your post is beautiful and profound – just like you. :-)
Awesome! This totally reminds me to just breath sometimes, to take those deep breaths and come back focused to whatever it is you’re doing. There’s such power in something so simple. Thanks, J!
Keith, Yes, it’s that need to think your way out that makes me so nervous all the time. But… I will prevail!
Ironicmom, I remember your bad bout! I guess that would give you an appreciation for breathing. Not unlike being underwater!
Estrella, I’m behind! Where are you off to? (Not SF, I assume.)
JB, I couldn’t ask for more. <3
Eman, It's particularly true, I think, when you're nervous, when the need to breathe and be calm is greatest, that your tendency is to tense up and hold your breath. (And by you, I mean me again.) ;-)
:) I’m off to Hungary tonight (blogged about it) and your post was perfect for my worries about traveling alone :)
PS: wish I could go to SF, hope to be able one day. It’s on my list of places to visit!
As a lifelong breather, this got my attention. :) (You really know how to appeal to so many of us!)
I, too, aspire to breathe like Eckhart one day. Your example of the power of breathing — and of the mind — is ringing a little bell in my brain. Thanks… it’s good to be here again! xo
I love that amidst the “wild-eyed, crazy, irrationally panic-filled” experience you discovered not only calmness, but being in the moment. A lesson I would love to learn. I do stop breathing at stressful or frightening times ~ often almost fainting before I think to take a breath. And yet I constantly tell my daughter to take a moment to just breathe when she’s stressed out at work, etc. A wonderful post, j. Thank you.
I can’t resist being totally inappropriate, but it made me laugh out loud ~ “I’ll never be that calm, never speak in such soothing tones, never live my life in a continual state of surrender to, and acceptance of, the essential “is” in every moment.” {I’ll never attain any of that either.} What it made me think of though was Former President Bill Clinton’s deposition re: Monica Slutinski when he said “it depends on what your definition of ‘is’ is.” Sorry! LMFAO!
This post takes my breath away.
xx00
Estrella, Sorry! I’m behind on my bloggy travels. (A constant state.) Have a wonderful trip! (And let me know when SF happens!)
Lea, “Life long breather” made me laugh! You’d think with all this practice we’d all be better at it, huh? (I always love to find you here.)
Dani, Don’t worry. When Eckhart talked about the essential “is “of the present moment, I thought of Bill Clinton too.
Marhsa, Big, BIG smile! Thank you.
I realized I was holding my breath while reading, so now I have taken some deep breaths. Thank you!
I panic underwater for any amount of time — I can’t even watch and listen to some dives on TV without my chest tightening — so I am so impressed that you are doing this, and you will succeed at your goal. I just know it.
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