I just finished reading Susan Orlean’s excellent book the orchid thief, which explores the weirdly fascinating world of orchid enthusiasts. I know, right? Orchid enthusiasts? But orchid growers and collectors are obsessed, absolutely single-minded and driven. It’s a kind of madness, one I found intriguing and, in a strange way, almost admirable – the focus, tenacity, commitment…
I am not a collector, but briefly, in my youth, I did collect… well, pigs.
The first one came from a boy who made me dizzy with his smile. I thought he was a romantic genius, giving me a stuffed pig instead of the more traditional (and ever-so-pedestrian) teddy bear. The pig he gave me was fat and soft and adorable. It had a bow. It had a tag that said Wilbur. I imagined that it smelled like the boy. I adored it. I saw the pig sitting on my bed every day, and I felt the rush of teenage life (and love and lust and romance and adventure) that raced through my veins.
The pig outlasted the boy, of course. A collection was born and, very soon, it took on a life of its own. Long after I’d stopped finding and buying pig paraphernalia for myself, people bought it for me. Think there’s not a lot of pig stuff out there? It’s only because you aren’t looking for it. By the time I was a senior in high school I had more stuffed pigs than could fit on my bed. I had pig statues, pig books, pig posters, pig t-shirts, pig magnets, a pig pencil, a pig spoon, pig slippers, pig earrings.
Yes. Pig earrings.
Clearly it was time to put an end to the madness.
Since then I haven’t collected anything. I seem to have broken myself of the urge. I’m curious, though. Do you collect anything? How did you get started? How long will you keep going? And have you ever been arrested and put on trail for your part in a crime related to your hobby? (You don’t have to answer that. But I’ll love you forever if you do.)
Wild
Okay, my lawyer assures me those documents were sealed by the court.
I don’t really collect much of anything since I’m a bit clutter-phobic. Got a wild hair about vintage typewriters a while back and got a few on ebay but that’s the closest I’ve coe recently.
Pigs are co cute!!!!
G
I collect pens, and have since I was a kid. My absolute favorite pen is my Pentel Energel with the 0.5 needle tip with black ink. My husband and mom buy me a box every year for Christmas and birthday, but my siblings know and understand my love for the funkier side of writing utensils. (Yes, I understand how nerdy that sounds LOL) I have a pen with a huge daisy flower on top, a purple feathery pen, pens that link together, gel pens in every color you could possibly imagine, bobble-y headed Eeyore and Winnie-the-Pooh pens, and even one that the tip lights up in the dark so if you wake up in the middle of the night and have the urge to write something down, it glooooows in either red, green, blue, or white. I always have a pen on me, usually the Pentel… Oddly enough, I generally never carry paper, and have been known to jot story lines down on the back of receipts I find in my car.
I never had an earing pen, though. I’m quite jealous that my collection doesn’t include pierced jewelry. :D
I used to collect men when I was in my 30′s. Younger men, especially. {They weren’t able to charge me though because the youngest had just turned 21. ;-P }
I collect cookbooks. And recipes. I used to collect teapots and still have some. Well, really, all kinds of kitchen “stuff” ~ it started with my mother, then me, and now also my daughter.
Fun post, j! *Big Squishy Hugs*
George, I have a vintage typewriter too! A collection of one. (Needs work.) You are cuter than pigs. <– j pickup line.
Jordan, I love that you collect pens. Of all the things I could collect, pens might be my first choice. You need a j pen. You could pretend it stands for Jordan.
Dani, From young men to cookbooks and recipes and kitchen utensils, huh? If you combine your collections you could have a handsome cheesecake baking army. *drifts off dreamily for a bit*
My paper route money in had, I would make my way to Ames Fruit and Grocery store. I could almost taste the gum.
It was 1978, I was eleven, and bound and determined to complete the 1978 Topps baseball card set, though the opening of packs. This is no small feat, as by the time I was down to needing one more card, I had to open another 80 or so packs, to find that elusive player.
Getting that final card was a great joy. I don’t remember who that last player was, which sort of makes me sad, but I do remember the joy.
I also remember the gum.
I don’t collect much anymore, as time and age, have worn away the urge. I do appreciate a good collection, be it pigs on a bed, or paintings in a gallery.
Great post.
I used to collect unicorn stuff. Anything with a unicorn on it.
Not so much any longer. But I fancy hummingbird things, blue things, and crystal (glasses, dishware, cookware).
We have a DVD collection, but I don’t think of that so much as “collecting”.
That Dani, no wonder she is so good at giving hugs. Probably got lots of practice on her man collection. ;-)
*Big Squishy Hugs*
I have wandered through collecting. There is casual collecting and obsessive collecting. The latter is a sin, in my book, which means a waste of money and an impulse to acquire STUFF, which means consuming things kills the planet.
That being said, some forms of Botticelli’s Venus have come into my orb. The truth is, I work for Aphrodite. I also have a few Mother Mary things around, though have never been Catholic.
Both of these (Aphrodite and Mary) are associated with roses, which are the only flower I seem to be able to grow.
It’s all about the beauty.
(P.S. My older Southern sister collected pigs.) xox
I collect cats, real ones. And books, real ones (we live in the world of e-books now, henceforth I shall call books made on paper “real ones”)
I saw a metal pig watering can at Target today and felt deep within my core that I couldn’t live without it. The $30 price tag assured me I could.
Brian, I love that story. I guess if you have to remember the name or the joy, you’re locked in on the right thing.
Terre, I like the way “man collection” sounds…
Tana, “It’s all about the beauty.” True. I like the idea of collecting beauty. (Don’t think I didn’t catch the never-been-Catholic boast. Show off.)
Tricia, How many real cats do you have? (Target makes me feel buying urges deep in my core all the time… There is something vaguely sinister about that place.)
four. But it feels like twenty. Kind of like saying you have four boys all under the age of six.
I think Target implants buying brainwaves into our heads/wallets.
Nice one J! And thanks for pointing out that you don’t collect pig stuff anymore, I um need to go return some stuff at the store… Anyway – hmm – being me, it is odd, that I don’t collect stuff – unless you mean office supplies (my home office looks like an Office Depot), or yarn, my yarn stash… hmm Yes I guess I collect yarn. I like yarn, I like the possibilities of making stuff out of pretty little strings of different colors and fibers. I buy yarn with no idea what I’m going to use it for – is that wrong?! :o) Now if only my favorite super hero would need a new cape or something – I could use up my yarn stash… Sorry – tired, rambling, blah blah blah. Nice post J! Now I really do need to get to the store – I have to return a few things… :o) xo
Hmm, let’s see. My parents were very strict (loving but strict) and my childhood was spent not too far from home and the family’s rules, regulations, etc.
As an adult, I wanted to go out “there” and live it all.
So I guess I collect experiences. Happy, sad, and everything else that makes up this business of living.
Um. Not that I charge or anything. Not THAT kind of experience.
LOL, your old pig collection sounds like my current zebra collection! I’ve been collecting zebras and zebra-striped things ever since I can remember. It’s always been my favorite animal. I have everything you can imagine with zebras on it or in zebra print! I’ve given away some zebra things to my local Goodwill store, such as the childish zebra things (plus, I don’t need twenty zebra picture frames, lol!) My zebra collection is a lot more mature and tasteful now!
I have three collections, all currently dormant: a large-ish comic book collection, mostly from the 50′s and 60′s; my baseball card collection, mostly from the 60′s and 70′s; and a guitar collection, in which I also include a Fender bass, a banjo, and a killer little concert ukulele. All three collections are hibernating in a temperature-controlled closet in my office, until the day I set them free. For a price. #sentimentalbutrealistic
Caroline, I love your yarn collection! Well, I love your fabulous description of it. I’ve got a superhero grin… which would look awesome with a superhero cape by Caroline. Capes by Caroline… Hmmm… xo
Marisa, That’s wonderful. I collect those too. I’m going to collect some today, in fact. Big ones. With pictures.
Laura, Zebras!!! Can Zebra Sounds be part of your zebra collection? (Part of the virtual stash.) *beams at you irresistibly*
A roommate I had at a summer performing arts program was obsessed with pigs, too. The first thing she did on “her side” of our room was hang a big pig calendar on the wall. You are not alone! :)
I used to collect stationery. I loved all kinds of notecards, paper, letterhead, etc… the problem was I rarely used it because it was so pretty that I didn’t want to mess it up! I still love beautiful notecards, but I try to actually mail notes now and then these days.
When I was a kid, I used to collect little nicknacks and line them all up on my dresser. Figurines I won at carnivals or saved up for and proudly bought on my own. Once I went to college, I felt like I had outgrown them or I got tired of dusting them and so got rid of most of them. But I kept a couple – Garfield and Heathcliff, my favorite cats – and gave them to my kids. Only one of my girls wanted them, and after a couple years, she gave them away to a friend. Sigh.
OH MY GOSH the twin thing has reared its head again. I collected pigs for a while. It started with one and it snowballed. It was a long long time ago in a land far far away and my tastes have matured since then. I collected frogs for a while. And of course my wind up robots. [What?]
I do have a pig calendar this year. But the photos are black and white. And tastefully done. Especially June, which featured a quite fetching pig wearing strings of pears. [I'll wait]
I’ve also been known to collect rocks, and the belly button lint of men I love. [tmi]
there.
I had my response all ready but was thrown off by “belly button lint.” Ew.
As a child I had a killer eraser collection. No, the erasers weren’t murderous. Ba dum bum. You don’t see them as much anymore but they used to be everywhere- erasers in all shapes and sizes. Rainbows, flowers, cartoon characters, etc. I also collected stuffed animals, Ziggy dolls in particular (remember him?).
As an adult I collect the city & state coffee mugs that Starbucks sells. (Please refrain from lecturing me on the evils of the Bucks.) I suppose I also collect books. And I love bookends. And purple pens of course :)
LOL Allison … right after I commented I sent j an email telling her that I had just shared too much with her readers.
:0)
Juliana, I LOVE stationery stores. I always want to buy stationary, and cards (especially blank ones), and boxes of postcards. Once upon a time, I designed a personalized stationery and then remembered that I don’t write letters. (You’re right. Maybe that’s what we should do. Write more. I love getting stuff that isn’t bills in my mail. … Like awesome CDs.) ;-)
ekcarmel, The sad tale of the knick knack collection! There is a story in there somewhere!
Karen, I could not stop laughing through your comment. I am positive some of my pigs were fetching. Please send photos of windup robots. I do love robots.
Allison, I do remember the eraser craze of 19somethingorother. They were the prize in cereal boxes. I loved anything – ANYTHING – that could be found wrapped in cellophane in the bottom of a cereal box. … Memories…
Haha, this one of this is one of the cutest posts, J! Actually, back in high school, and the few subsequent years after, I used to collect comic books. I know. Typical and nerdy. But that’s stopped for a while. Thanks god! I wasn’t one of those cool kids who went to those conventions, I just enjoyed the rarity of certain comics, and how much they will pay for my kids’ college…
Or I should totally sell them now, and buy a car :)
Eman, I think comic book collectors are inherently cool. Just sayin’.
I didn’t get to reading this until now . . . I love this post :) I won’t go into my many collections now, but I want to say something to Tana . . . I don’t know if she will get to reading this?? I was drawn to her post because of the mention of Aphrodite whom I am enthralled by (of course). Anyway, Tana should look up St. Therese of Lisieux, the Little Flower, she is a Saint and there is a wonderful story connected to her regarding roses. It’s beautiful really, even if it is seen just as fiction.
It’s beyond cute that you collected piggies, I mean who could be further from the image of a piggy than you? Although you are cute, obviously, but in a more Bambi-esque way . . . not a Wilbur way.
Oh, and I meant to ask, did you not see the film Adaptation based on The Orchid Theif?? With Nicholas Cage and Meryl Streep? Forgive me if you wrote on that and I missed it. If you haven’t, you must see it ASAP!!! I would be very curious to know if you feel the film does the book justice.
Love this! How cute that you collected pigs, they are adorable. I have a few myself. After Vincent was born, I had an amazing brain storm that would end up making him a very wealthy adult. I started collecting Happy Meal Toys. Once or twice a week, I would get a Happy Meal for lunch. Eat the bit of food, examine the toy and carefully fold up the box or bag that came with it and thus started a collection that lasted about 11 years. I must have 100′s of unopened Happy Meal toys, most with their original box or bag. My scheme, thus far hasn’t come close to making my son a millionaire. No regrets though, their cute and when I come across a pile of them, (they are stashed here and there) they make me smile.
I collect Marilyn Monroe things and have a fair amount of pictures, books and even the Marilyn Monroe Barbies that came out years ago.
My favorite was when I collected antique children’s books. I have some really beautiful and unique old books and some original Nancy Drews. That’s one that I would like to revisit. I don’t know where most of them are, or what condition they are now in. Hands down, antique children’s books are just beautiful to me.
A collection of pigs, hmmm… – a drift of swine? They became a drove of swine when you finally got rid of them (drove them away).
For me, fountain pens. You Americans have this delightful custom of the bride and groom giving gifts – to the Maid of Honor and Best Man. And so it was that my brother and his wife gave me a fountain pen. I was the Best Man…just in case there was some confusion. :0
Fountain pens are wondrous. Functional works of art. Of course, what I am to do with seventeen of them…
But they are beautiful. And I enjoy writing with them. So I rotate through them, trying not to favor one over the other. But some were gifts and using them recalls the giver…
I have a friend back in Ireland and she refers to Orchids as Awkwards – but then, the Lady C is a force unto herself.
Carey, Bambi-esque made me grin! Why, thank you, Ms. Wonderful! Yes. I saw Adaptation when it first came out. Now I’ll watch it again. Maybe this very weekend!
Joanne, Your collection of Marilyn Monroe memorabilia made me think of the MM jacket in Wonder Boys. (Reminding me of Michael Chabon books is always good!) And children’s books! Those are wonderful collections!
KjM, You crack me up. Are all of your fountain pens the kind with cartridges, or do you have some of the really old fashioned kind that dip into a well. Like Shakespeare?
Hi Judy,
No, not all are. I use bottled ink in the majority of my fountain pens. No dipping in wells for me though (yet another thing I don’t have in common with Shakespeare!)
While fountain pens demand more care and attention than ballpoints or rollerballs, I don’t have the patience to deal with only a line or so of writing before I have to go back for more ink.
Enjoy your Friday.
As a “paper whore” I’ve collected my share of cheap, fun and colorful artwork, especially from the 1920s and 1930s. Sometimes I find art on playing cards, sometimes on the covers of vintage magazines or sheet music, matchbook covers, perfume labels or fruit packing crate labels. Also have some nice French fashion drawings from those decades; and menus, handbills, World’s Fair paper souvenirs (e.g., maps, advertising), and oh, so much more (said the “paper whore”)!
I also have a collection of ticket stubs for the concerts I attended over a four decade period. (Too bad I didn’t save them all but doing so has made it possible to remember most of what I did attend….)
And then I have a nice cotton tablecloth collection from the 1940s/1950s when they were mostly square for card playin’ tables or ladies’ afternoon teas and printed with colorful floral or geometric designs. They still work for parties and have nice stains and holes from the adventures they’ve been through.
One of my latest collections includes a “flock” of owls – on aprons, as ornaments, framed mini-posters, 3-D paper cut-outs, as stationary and so on. Well, they’re not really a flock – a group of owls is officially known as a parliament. A group of their young would be a clutch. Why do bird groups have such unique naming conventions? a bevy of quail, a bouquet of pheasants, a brood of hens, a cast of hawks, a charm of finches, a company of parrots, a dole of doves, an exultation of larks, a gaggle of geese, a host of sparrows, a kettle of hawks, a murder of crows, a party of jays, a rafter of turkeys, a pride of peacocks, a tiding of magpies and a watch of nightingales. And after all of that, not one is a flock?!
By the way, a group of Zebras is called a dazzle. Another interesting Zebra fact – they can’t see the color orange!
Is there really such a thing as a Murder of Crows? Damn, that’s cool — and a watch of nightingales? Ooooh, that’s especially enchanting when dizzy with insomnia :-0 And listening to Stevie Nicks — aaaah, it’s Mamma’s weekend off. Alone again, naturally.