Yesterday, Indiana Representative Mark Souder resigned his seat citing an affair with one of his staffers. Admitting an affair publicly would be embarrassing for anyone, but I’m guessing it’s even worse when you’ve campaigned on “family values” and been an advocate for abstinence-only sex education. Kind of like being a 61-year-old minister/psychologist known for claiming you can “cure the gay” caught with a 20-year-old male escort from Rentboy.com.
Whatever you think of the behavior, you have to shake your head at the hypocrisy. It would be as if I decided to crusade against cheesecake, setting up clinics and ban-the-cheesecake boot camps, while secretly sneaking off to The Cheesecake Factory to scarf down slices of heaven nestled in graham cracker crust…
I’m sorry. What was I talking about?
Oh, right. Hypocrisy. And something else – arrogance? Stupidity? What accounts for the belief that no one will notice how your life’s work and your life itself are completely at odds?
It’s why you’ll never hear me rail against Starbucks. It’s not that I’m pro-Starbucks, it’s just that I am extremely, irrationally, pathologically pro-coffee. When I need it, I need it, and I don’t care if it comes from an insidious corporate monolith using its evil genus and resistance-is-futile marketing strategies to burrow its way into our unsuspecting, coffee-addicted minds. I’m not proud of it, but as it turns out, my principles are directly, inversely proportional to my caffeine need.
Yes, I have my tongue firmly planted in my cheek, but the truth is this post is a rant. The hypocrisy bothers me. And baffles me. I’d love to hear what you think. … Or if you’re not in the mood for a rant, what thing will you never do because you’re not that kind of hypocrite.
I am so trying to learn to keep my mouth shut. Seems like whenever I say something like, “I would NEVER do that.” I end up having to (YES, HAVING TO) do that. You think I would learn. But, I would never do that . . . . . ;-)
Ha! I know, I thought about that too. Never say never. But I think I can safely say I’ll never get a date from rentboy.com. … I think. ;-)
Yeah, some weird circumstances are going to put you in that exact spot and you’re going to be say, “SNAP!”
You have just renewed my #judylove. This was a great post and it made me smile.
More please!
Hypocrisy… I, too, wrote a post about it, a few ranting thoughts around the end of 2008 (You can give “hypocrisy” a search on my blog if you’re interested) :)
I personally despise this kind of behavior, and I also try to keep my mouth shut and not to compromise myself, but luckily I say what’s on my mind and don’t say “never” that often.
Unfortunately I know quite a few people who are hypocrites and do my best not to be around them, but whenever I can’t help it and we meet I’m constantly baffled by their ability to lie so shamelessly…
That said, we all need to rant at times, and I just loved how you incorporated cheesecake and coffee into this post! ;)
Hypocrisy grates, doesn’t it? I think there are people who at times cannot step outside themselves and see what they are doing! Sex is a powerful impulse and, interestingly, the people who preach the most fervently on these matters often have something big to hide. Perhaps their zeal is a way to assuage their guilt? And yet they don’t see the incongruity! Or, if they do, they’re in too deep to stop (um, sorry… heh).
Rob Mader, Wow! Bonus! A rant and renewed j-love. My work is here done, baby!
Estrella, I’ll look for you post. And you know how it is… in j-land, cheesecake and coffee go with EVERYTHING.
Louise, I love when a parting shot is exactly dead on and hilarious too! Perfect comment!
We are all hypocrites at some level, sometimes. Those of us who work hard to reduce it in our lives can be shocked by those who indulge it and seem to feel no shame. Our frame of reference is so far off that we can’t comprehend it. The way we distort our truth seems less extreme, so we feel inclined to judge. I see it as an illness – mental, emotional, spiritual, who knows? Our hard-wiring for selfishness infects our spirits – how, and to what extend, is entirely personal. When the results are behaviour so out-of-synch with beliefs, a soul must be in torment, sometimes so much so that it retreats altogether. It’s tragic every time.
Mrs. Which, I really like this. “When the results are behaviour so out-of-synch with beliefs, a soul must be in torment, sometimes so much so that it retreats altogether. It’s tragic every time.” Reminds me to try to be compassionate when I view the hypocrisy. You’re right. It’s tragic. (As are the lives of the people George Rekers tried to “fix.”) People get hurt all around a soul in torment.
JCW,
This is a great post! Sounds like the stuff I rant about in person….but with better word usage.
Clearing throat and in best Rush Limbaugh voice…
This is a blip on the radar that the devil incarnate Hilary Rodham Clinton and her consort, house speaker Nancy Pelosi has….fabricated…for lack of a better word…to boost a liberal/socialist platform that has been destroying this country since the Civil War…..
Or something like that….
The H word. Oh yeah, the land of the politician.
Cheesecake Factory? Nummiest pasta in the land. Thems some fine vittles.
They can have my coffee when they pry it from my cold, dead, shaking hands…
g
Rob, Ha! That made me laugh out loud! Now never do it again! (I have to go take a shower and wash the Rush off me.) ;-)
George, We so have to break cheesecake together.
I always love your posts. Pass the coffee and cheesecake, please. Hold the Congressman. ( not literally )’
Walt Whitman said (paraphrase here), If I contradict myself, I contradict myself. I am filled with contradiction.
I think we all are filled with contradiction. I find it annoying when I have to change my mind about someone — someone I cast in a black in white mode and then found there were sides I hadn’t noticed.
I don’t think the behaviors of these politicians is about holding contradictions within one body. To me, their “sin” (for lack of a better word) is that they enact and then enforce policies that have an impact on our lives. What they enact is cruel and inhumane.
Would that we had people in power who were more self aware. Indigenous people would have sweat lodges before making important decisions for the tribe. The purpose was to cleanse themselves so they could get clarity — clarify the boundary between the personal and the broader arena.
I’m real sick of the tiny-hearted and tiny-minded holding such sway in this country.
Ralph, You made me dribble coffee. Good one.
Karen, Well said. And me too. As Louise rightly points out, I think we should be suspicious of those who protest too much. Get suspicious, wait at baggage claim, uncover, throw them out before they do more damage.
Perfectly great rant! Hypocrisy is as Mrs. Which says – in all of us, but at least most (?) of us recognize that fact and try to keep it to a minimum – the do what I say, not what I do attitude is rampant probably because we see so many politicians and movie stars get away with it so often – we as the sheep that we are, copy this behavior, or maybe they are copying ours? Either way it’s a difficult one. How can we call someone out as a hypocrite, when none of us is perfect? Well as you know I have no problem with that, I believe that you don’t have to be perfect to have a good opinion on someone’s behavior or opinion – I mean if I waited until I was perfect to say anything
um yeah – so anyway, rambling (not enough coffee yet) point is I can say without hypocrisy ♥ :o) #jlove xo
Excellent post, j.
And great comments about compassion made by fellow Zebra Sounds readers. My inner yogi really appreciates your perspective in the world.
Still, the congressman and his fellow extreme hypocrites, (hmm… perhaps a new X-games category there) make me go “HUH?!? REALLY??!! THAT seemed like a good idea to you?” I want to tap them on the brain and ask “Is this thing on??”
But I have a solution… require all potential candidates to be on Facebook. With FB spying on them for us, we’ll know ahead of time what we’re dealing with before they’re elected. :-D
At least that’s my best pre-caffeinated solution. I’m off to solve my lack of caffeine problem next. Wish I had some cheesecake to go with it. :-D
Whats curious to me is why bring up Mark Souder? Why not John Edwards, Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, or ANY Kennedy. Why not Barney Frank for continually cheating on one male prostitute lover with another through the years?! Oh wait, I’m sorry, I just realized those are all Democrats and Mr. Souder is a Republican. OK, I get it now!
No no no, I’m not mad that you chose Mr. Souder. I’m just upset that if you wanted to slam a Republican you could have gone with the ever popular Idaho Toe Tapper in the bathroom stall or maybe Mr. Appalachian Trail as better examples!! ha ha ha !! —- (tongue planted ever so firmly in cheek over these last two paragraphs!)
So here’s what to do. Take the Starbucks paragraph from your post above and substitute the word “Affairs” where you see the word Starbucks. Then take the word “Sex” and substitute it where you see the words coffee and/or caffeine. Its certainly not the overall explanation for such hypocritical behaviors by our elected officials but its funny. And it fits perfectly into their apology speeches!
What always surprises me with the people in public office who practice hypocrisy with such astuteness is that they NEVER think they’re going to be caught.
For example: SC Governor Mark Sanford telling everyone he was walking on the Appalachian Trial when he was really walking on the wild side with his mistress, NY Governor Spitzer who paid big bucks for sex in a DC hotel room (while wearing black dress socks, ewww) and so on.
It’s the two “h’s” that astound me: Hypocrisy and Hubris.
Ok. Now I need coffee and cheesecake to soothe the savage beast. And there IS a Starbucks two blocks away from me.
Okay, I’ll play. How about a certain politician who promises greener solutions and yet drives a Hummer.
How about politicians who vow to curb illegal immigration yet have a housecleaning and gardening staff full of illegal immigrants.
A little coffe humor to end my rant. I’m a spoiled coffee drinker, liking only the Whole Foods blend. I made a bet with myself and lost. This week I’m drinking only Chock Full O’Nuts. So anything I say cannot be held against me.
Good old bobby.
I can always count on him to miss the point of the post.
If you think j’s rant is politically based, you really don’t know j at all.
btw: clinton (for all his faults) never espoused that we behave one way sexually, while doing another.
cmw
well said and ditto on all points, cmw! :-D
Oh, please. Oh brother! Did you both miss the part where I said, “tongue planted ever so firmly in cheek over these last TWO paragraphs!” ????
I COMPLETELY understood that the concept of hypocrisy as presented in the post (and the point of J’s rant) was not politically based. My comments were merely satirical while using politics as the backdrop (as she did)!! I take it you have seen SNL once or twice?? Plus, did you miss my third paragraph, entirely??
AND, for the record (what a lame cliche that is), ANY person engaged in marriage, that is in a relationship, that has children, etc., is absolutely espousing/ campaigning for/ representing the ideal of family values! It is inherent in those actions! Whether or not a person can live up to those family values is something else entirely. — That would be a much better use of Bill Clinton as an example rather than the incorrect way you chose. As a married man alone he was espousing the we behave sexually one way (ie, having sex with your spouse only) while doing another…and another and another!
Love you both!!
—- Well said BOBBY! …Ditto!
I totally disagree with your trying to equate someone who is married and has an affair with someone who campaigns on “family values” and abstinence. What you infer about the beliefs of a married person is one thing (and you infer far more than I do), but no inference was necessary in the cases of the men I named in this post. They shouted from the rooftops.
Stupid… like Gary Hart inviting reporters to try and catch him in the act. There you go! A democrat.
Let’s take a charismatic southerner running for office as an example. Any time Mr. Clinton stood hand in hand with his wife, or child by his side, he was promoting family values. I would say he was doing so loud and clear, rooftops not withstanding. Just as any other individual does when running for President all the way down to local Dog Catcher! But I have no problem if you don’t look at it that way.
For me, in any arena, a person that is married and has an affair is just as much a hypocrite by his actions as the person shouting “abstain, abstain” and then having a quickie before his next campaign stop or sermon or class lecture or…!
Well said! And we will agree to disagree on that point.
First read of the day, and sorry I’m so terribly behind on my blog reading again. Yes, I get angry at hypocrites, also a tad annoyed I had to scroll up four times to make sure I spelled hypocrite correctly.
Anywho, I’m not going to rant. I will say this. At 51 years old and having spent many a decade around all different groups of people. Business, family, church even volunteer fire people, I became very jaded about human behavior. Especially the hypocricy and moved on to live a rather quiet and reclusive life style. Being very selective about with whom I personally speak to, associate with and hang out with.
This may be an extreme, but as you know by now, I could tell you some stories…..
One observation I would like to make is that when one specific type of story, hmmmmm, let’s say cheating on ones spouse, hits the headlines many suitors follow. All the cheaters seem to come out of the woodwork for a time. All of the homophobes are suddenly spotted with same sex lovers. Sensationalized hypocricy seems to breed like little white bunnies.
I live a non-hypocrite lifestyle, rather boring, rather lonely but put me in the headlines and I WILL set these folks straight. What’s thats quote, “Live what you speak about”…or something like that.
I haven’t had enough coffee yet, so apologies for the bad grammar, run on sentences and so on. Bottom line…Oh wait, I remembered the quote. “PRACTICE WHAT YOU FREAKIN’ PREACH”. Love me
Damn, attend a morning meeting and all hell breaks loose!
jb, FB spying comment made me laugh! There’s my own hypocrisy. I am so mad about their terrible business practices and yet I’m still there. The difference, as almost everyone is rightly pointing out, is that I don’t claim not to be. I’m not sure it’s any more noble to be honest about one’s hypocrisy, but I tell myself that it is!
Bobby, the Republicans were in the news on a night when I didn’t already have something else I wanted to blog about. Not as interesting as your explanation, but true. And I’m just dorky enough to have done as you suggested for my Starbucks paragraph and it’s hilarious. Almost makes me want to rewrite the post! (I recommend everyone try it.)
Tricia, I hadn’t heard the hummer story but it doesn’t surprise me. Sigh… (What was the bet??)
CMW, Thank you for commenting. I agree with you on Clinton and that the problem for me is not the affair, it’s the false moral righteousness on which a career is based.
Joanne, Yes! (Or maybe stop your freakin’ preachin’!) I’m glad I’m one of the people with whom you are willing to “hang out.”
It was obvious to me that since you started your post with the word “Yesterday” you used Mr Souder because he was the most recent. I mean, goodness, the DUH factor on that rings pretty high. I never took it as a party affiliation type of thing (nor would I have ever cared). Hence the sarcasm that ensued.
Oh, glad you liked the word substitution. Could have easily heard that off Mr. Souder’s lips during the presser! ha!
When will they get us that handy sarcasm font!
Whoa! These commenters are fast!
This was nice rant on hypocrisy, J! It’s really amazing how we all have a little hypocrisy in all of us at some point in our lives. It’s not about who is and who isn’t a hypocrite, but rather the degree to which we are a hypocrite–the extreme, of course, being Mark Souder and the others the commenters have mentioned so far. Maybe this is partly why I’m kind of a shy guy and don’t say much, so that I don’t end up say, as Terre put it, “I would NEVER say that,” then consequently having to do it or something.
…..
You really like your cheesecake, don’t you, J?
I am NEVER self-righteous, hypocritical, judgemental, narrow-minded, biased, unfaithful, dishonest, dismissive, disloyal, disingenious….. I am Perfect! Except for when I’m not. ;-P
Oh, and I love coffee and cheesecake, too. *hugs*
Eman, Yeah… I kind of do. The way to j’s heart. Cheesecake. ;-)
Danni, You crack me up!
This is a clever, well thought out post….but mostly I just love that you’re ranting because I’ve not really seen you do that!
That and I’ve never met a cheesecake I didn’t like! And Latte is a great friend if mine :-)
Being serious for a second (it won’t last!), it never ceases to amaze me how these people are amazed by the notion they could get caught in their lies, it’s like they believe they are omnipotent all if a sudden!
To cmw & jb,
I took a second glance, third and fourth as well, at your remarks from yesterday. And no matter how I tilt my head I still see them as inaccurate and discourteous. Maybe in the afternoon sun they will look different. I’ll check back.
Bobby, I don’t think they were either inaccurate or discourteous. Certainly no more than your original comment to me was. Sarcasm is hard to get right in print and “haha” doesn’t make your true meaning any more clear.
I’m sure we have had this little discourse before. But when a full “tongue planted ever so firmly in cheek…” disclaimer is thrown out there, coupled with enough “ha’s” to make a laugh track for a comedy episode, it seems logical that the comment is non-malicious (is that a word?) and without any secret undertone or character attack! Goodness!
I’m only irked that cmw called me “old” and someone else “ditto-ed” it! ha ha!
Truthfully, the points of your posts are never lost on me. I just don’t think it necessary to always throw out some uber-affirmation or quote/ re-quote a full paragraph or two from a post to make that understood.
But just to clarify my view on the post at hand…
Hypocrisy. BAD. Period.
— *hugs*, I know you like those! (no, that’s not sarcastic, geeeeeez looouise!)
Hi Bobby,
I can honestly say, I clearly do not understand your logic or your humor. But I’m okay with us respectfully disagreeing on any topic.
jb, I am not sure we have ever disagreed on a topic?!? Clue me in if we have!
As I mentioned, I just dont think every topic needs another rah-rah-sis-boom-ba/ over the top agreement type response. Try to see my reply from this post or any post as simply a different view from the same side. Do you really think I am going to disagree that cheesecake is a good thing and hypocrisy is a bad thing, good golly!
glad you weighed in with more than a “ditto” this time.
Bobby,
i forgot the rule.
haha!
cmw
ps: just don’t be a douch canoe, for the sake of playing haha devil’s advocate. That’s my point.
…haha!
cmw –
“…you had me at douch canoe”
-or-
“I don’t usually hear that phrase till the second date”
-or-
“When I grow up I want to be a douch yacht!”
Chad, I never knew we were on such intimate terms. Very happy we are!
That way I can tell you that at first read I thought your p.s. comment was more about being a bit of dick. But don’t worry, I tilted my head, read it over a few times, and can easily take it as a sincere good guy thing. I think it was because of the “haha’s” — those things are pure magic!!
And now we all live happily ever after. I am off to write the next bit of wisdom.