Last year, I wrote a mother’s day post about being a mom. This year I wanted to write about my mom. I started this post and stopped it a couple of times, not because she’s hard to write about, but because it’s hard to condense a lifetime with someone – an entire lifetime – into a blog post. You can’t, in fact. That’s what I realized. So I abandoned the biography idea and decided to make a list of the one million things I appreciate most about my mom.
Don’t worry, this is the abridged version. There are only five here. My mother’s leather-bound, gold leafed, unabridged tome will be delivered to her on Mother’s Day by a gaily dressed minstrel who will literally sing her praises for the rest of May.
Five Things I Appreciate About My Mom
- She used to play jacks with me on the kitchen floor. I was not a girly girl and my mother, most of the time, must have felt like she had three boys. I eschewed dolls, purses, dresses (and later bras), opting instead for Hotwheels, a basketball, boy’s jeans and Converse. I was not the little girl she’d imagined I’d be, but I did like jacks. In fact, I loved them, and I don’t remember my mom ever saying no to a game. There on the kitchen floor we would go from onsies to tensies and back again, and here’s what I love most. She always, always kicked my ass. (I love her more for that.)
- She hates to shop. The only woman I know who dislikes shopping as much as I do is my mother. I have spent way too many hours, drifting from shop to air-conditioned shop, watching the women I’m with browse, and touch, and chat, and try on. I’ve sat in dressing rooms attempting girlfriend honesty, and I’ve run back out for different sizes and colors. I’ve suffered and shopped in silence many times… but never with my mom.
- Parenting is hard. Or at least, the way I did it was hard. I remember one evening, when the boys were very young. I was exhausted. On the phone with my mother, half crying, I told her I worried about failing my sons. “I’m too busy to play with them all the time,” I said, ” I don’t want to join a mommie’s group.” My youngest had serious diaper rash and I was wondering if my save-the-planet decision to use cloth diapers had been a terrible mistake. And just that morning, I’d misunderstood a question from my five year old and wound up explaining (to his horror) where babies come from. On the phone with my mom, I was babbling. I told her my son didn’t want to do karate anymore. “I should tell him not to quit,” I said, “but it would be much easier for me if he did quit. Still, what if I let him, and then he grows up and hates me for it?” It was only then, in the obligatory pause after my question that I realized my mother hadn’t spoken for quite some time. “Mom,” I said, “what do you think? I’m making a mess of everything, aren’t I?” She laughed. She said, “I think you should get up and pour yourself a glass of wine. I’ll wait.”
- My mom reads my blog. Every day. Even when I don’t post. (That’s when she reads you guys.) It may not seem like a big deal, but a lot of people who love me don’t read what I write. She does, and that’s something because she doesn’t always understand or agree with me, which brings me to…
- My mom and I are not alike. She’d be the first to tell you. She’s laid back and easy going, I’m… not. She plays the piano beautifully, I have no musical talent whatsoever. She doesn’t know how to swim, I am most at peace on the water. We don’t agree on politics, or read the same books, or watch the same TV shows. She can’t understand why my dog lives in the house, underfoot; I don’t understand how she can pay attention to an entire baseball game. (My mother lives and breathes baseball.) I am restless and fidgety by nature and she is quiet and content. And here’s the part where I appreciate her. Despite how opposite we are, my mom has never made me feel I am a disappointment, or anything other than exactly who she’d pick if she could have picked her daughter.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.
What a wonderful tribute to your Mom! It sounds like you compliment and respect each other despite the differences.
Happy Mother’s day to both of you!
Oh, J, this is beautiful. I love it.
I love these things you appreciate about your mom. How cool.
Thanks for sharing!!!
(Happy Mother’s Day to you and to your mom!)
Oh….o ……o
that was scrumptious. Filled my heart.
Thank you for sharing your mom.
excuse me while I go happy *sniffle* for a while….
Nice post Judy. I hope you two will share a glass of wine and give a toast to motherdaughterhood.
What a lovely post J! Sounds like you and your mom are really good friends as well as mother/daughter. She sounds like an extraordinary person, which of course we could have guessed because she raised an extraordinary daughter. :o) I love that she hates to shop – me too, and of course that she can watch an “entire” baseball game! Thanks for sharing Judy and Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mom!
Judy, Thanks for the love filled list of mom wonderfulness. Nothing like a good cry to start the day … and to feel the spirit and memory of my own mom.
Oh yeah, have I ever told you … you have a gift!!
J
Mary, And at times, tolerate each other… sweetly. Thank you for commenting!
Terre, Thanks! There are a lot of stories. I picked the ones she wouldn’t get mad at me for posting. ;-)
KarenFM, My mom is your mom, darlin’. (Or, you know, something like that.)
Karen H, We are going to share a movie on Mother’s Day! We might be able to work some wine in there too.
Caroline, Thank you back! Yes, except for that you root for different teams, you and my mother could do the baseball thing really well.
Jeramy, You have a gift too. It’s called “making j smile.” Thank you!!
Go to the Vine. You can watch the movie and toast with a glass of wine.
Oh, and as I was driving back from Costco today I thought of how insightful it was of her to tell you that just the tiniest edge of alcohol puts motherhood in perspective. I like her.
Oh Judy… I am so glad I caught this before I went about my day… my mom has been gone since 1995 and not a day goes by without a thought for her..
Jacks.. instantly I saw my mom and me aswell sitting on the kitchen floor playing!
I see her and I playing you and your mom… giggling all the way
your cape flapping behind you :)
My mom didn’t have alot of time… 8 children, a husband, a full time job…but she’d find time to play jacks with me… I still have them in a little bag I take them out sometimes to look.. I don’t play them just hold them and think of her and our last game together… and yes she beat me all the time… all those years of playing before :)
There was only one thing my mom wished for us and that was for us to be happy… she didn’t care what we became… as long as when she asked “are you happy? ” we could say yes and mean it!
So now I enjoy life extra for her , she was so busy to do many things but when she did things she enjoyed you could see her joy flowing…
so thank you for the memories of moms and know this… you are a good mom… you love, you care, you are there… and in the end it is the love you give that they remember
roll in it
and thanks
for being you
and when we meet I’ll bring my jacks :)
Beautiful post! It’s wonderful hearing about others who appreciate their moms so much. Happy Mother’s Day to you!!!
First thing I read to day, I can’t wipe the smile off my face. So many lovely sentences here I can’t even begin to express how perfect this post is.
I’m still amazed at the things we have in common J. The hate of shopping, cloth diapers and the part about not playing with the children enough.
My mom was crazed for football, the Buffalo Bills, geeze…couldn’t get her attention to save my life during a game.
One summer, our family had moved from California to New Jersery. Our suburban home wasn’t ready to move into yet, so my dad found this old, cool farmhouse in a tiny little town nearby. No tv in this secluded house, just a lake nearby with the “summer” people. Anyway, my mom made up this game. We sat at the kitchen table to play. She took a glass of water, covered it with a tissue and put a dime on top. She was a smoker, the game involved passing her cigarette around and taking turns burning a hole in the tissue. The one who made the dime drop in the water was the loser.
I have never played this game with my own children, you know the cigarettes and all. It was just about the funnest game I ever played as a kid and I will never forget it.
Sorry to ramble, very beautiful tribute to your wonderful mother. Enjoy your Mother’s Day to the fullest. And thank you for the smile I STILL can’t wipe off my face. Much love to you.
This post makes me want to write one just like it, but since we have so much in common, I’d just cut and paste yours. Ha.
Only thing I’d change is she is the spirited one and I’m the laid back. And she hates sports. We both love what we call “go places and eat things”. It’s like shopping but we don’t shop. We just people watch and hit the cafes, bakeries, and coffee shops.
Lunajune, Yes! Jacks! I haven’t played for along time. (I never thought to teach the boys. Hmmm…) It is evident every day how fully you live your life – I’m sure your mom would be very happy with how happy you are! (And how happy you make everyone else.)
Laura, Thank you. On the mom front, I got lucky. ;-)
Joanne, Oh my gosh, I love that story! I can just picture that and how fun it would have been, and suspenseful! Now I can’t wipe the smile off my face!
Tricia, Would love to sit with you and people-watch some day. Bet your mom has a little more of a snarky streak than mine. (My mom is ridiculously nice. We would only comment on the impressive, wonderful people. Though we would surely disagree on who they were!)
This post filled me up with tears. What a beautiful ode to one hell of a special mom. Accepting you for exactly who you are is one of the greatest gifts a parent could bestow. I can only imagine that she is very comfortable with who she is.
Love the image of the jacks on the floor. My mother never, ever, sat on the ground with me to play the game that I loved most.
Your beautifully penned tribute made me realize some revelations about my mom. Our past is more contentious and I was NOT the daughter she wanted. It is only now that I realize that the women might not have liked me but she did LOVE me. This is what I will carry.
Love you, J. Thanks for writing this and would love to watch a ball game with your mom.
M
I love Mrs. C too :)
From hundreds of dinners to thousands of TV shows and movies she is the perfect best friends mom.
I would still have classified you as a girly girl while growing up though. Not nearly as bad as some, but definitely girl. I did not have any doubts that you could beat the snot out of me though.
D’awww! This was a really sweet tribute to your mom. She truly sounds like one heck of a mom! I think I’m gonna run down and give my mom a pre-Mother’s Day hug and kiss :)
Happy Mother’s Day to you, and all the moms here reading Zebra Sounds!
Ah, being a mom. The absolute hardest job on the planet. And of course, nobody can even slightly comprehend this until you go through it first hand.
Now with my own two little tots, I apologize to my mom all the time for what a pain in the ass I was growing up. She just laughs. (Like the apology is so unnecessary…she’s getting her revenge daily.)
My mom and I are complete opposites, as well. She envies my ballsiness, whereas I wish I had some of her restraint. But now at 40, I still can count on her for support and wisdom. She’s such a rock and I love her to pieces.
This tribute is awesome. And, btw, I might have you beat on the shopping. I loathe it. I would rather be attacked by bees.
Happy Mother’s Day, J! *hugs*
Marsha, I love when you share your thoughts. I do know something of what you feel, just not with my mom. And, I seem to attract baseball lovers. I’m sure my mom would watch with any and all of you!
John, I can still beat the snot out of you, love.
Eman, j-inspired hugs are the best kind! (So says j.)
Amy, How sweet – your comments about your mom. Now I’m sitting here thinking… shop or get attacked by bees… hmmm… ;-)
Thank you, Dani! You too!
Just in case she is reading this, Hi Judy’s mom!! Your daughter is amazing, as you know.
By the way, my mom did pick me she always has said. She is 91 now.
Judy, how could you ever be a disappointment? Your mom sounds like a great lady. Especially endearing is she hates shopping, likes wine, and breathes baseball.
The perfect woman.
Lovely.
I feel connected to you and your mom because I too despise shopping. Come to think of it, so does my mom!
Happy M Day!
Best Mom’s Day post I ever read, J. Seriously.
And while I’m at it, happy MD to you, too.
Cheers
George
Nicely done, J! If I tried to write one of these, it would come out like the eulogy I wrote for my mom last year. Playing jacks on the kitchen floor really resonates with me, though we never did that. It’s the quintessential sort of thing great moms do.
Happy Mother’s Day, J and J-Mom!
Sue, I love that your mom used to tell you that. :-)
Ralph, You say that because you’ve never had me there when you’re trying to watch the Yankees. I have an attention span problem. (I’m a pain in the ass.) But you’re right about her.
Ironicmom, Sweet! We need to have a mother-daughter no-shopping day! Yay!
George, Thank you. <3
Croondog, You called my mom quintessential! She'll be impossible to live with now. ;-)
This touched me…as a human, as a woman, as a daughter.
My mother and I were as different as two people who are related can be. Early on.. I was a rebel. I pushed the status quo.
I never had the opportunity to appreciate the differences with my mother while she was alive, which makes me simultaneously appreciate these words and grieve for what I did not have.
Your love and appreciation for your mother shines through….what a lucky pair you are.
First I would like to say I love your mother too, she is such an amazing individual. There is an old saying, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Yes, I agree that you both are opposites in many ways, but what a boring place it would be if everybody thought and liked the same things. I believe you and you Mom are alike in more ways than not. It’s such a wonderful thing to celebrate our love for our mothers and I know y’all celebrate yours every day. Please give your Mom a great big hug and kiss from me. Happy Mother’s Day!
Beautiful in so many ways; thank you for sharing. You and your mom are both wonderful; Happy Mother’s Day to you both. I would be honored to drink wine not go shopping with you guys anytime. :-D
Hippiechick, I think that is the healthiest response – one that acknowledges the hurt too. I know today must be hard. Big love to you. xo
Laura, Darn! Just got back from taking her to the movies and I didn’t see your hug message in time. I will deliver it my next opportunity! Happy Mother’s Day to you, too.
jb, We would be honored to drink wine and not shop with you too! (Girls’ Night!)
You captured your Mom sooo well, Judy. She is indeed a very special wife, Mom, Grandmother & friend!
Okay, you made me cry. Not that hard to do…..but that was very touching. Brought back memories…..she is a special lady and had a big part in my growing-up years…. I always thought she was my second mom. Taught me how to bake pies….and do other things. Tried to teach me to play piano but it didn’t take on me either. You writing about her was a blessing to me today…Thanks.
Gerry and Christi, I better make sure she comes back and reads all the latest comments so she can feel the love. Thank you both!
This was such a lovely post Judy, I love the things you love about your mother :)
She seems like an amazing person, just like you are, and I know cause it takes one to raise one.
I wish you two a belated Happy Mother’s Day :)
Hugs!
Hi Judy’s Mom! We enjoy your daughters’ insights to life and her musings!
Estrella, Why thank you!
Eric, That was so sweet, I want to make you panini!
You are both lucky! A pleasure to read.
Louise, Thank you! Love when you drop by!
OK, I’m way late to weigh in on this post, but I’m catching up on reading my favorite blogs and … well, anyway, great post, Judy! A wonderful ode to your mom.
Craig, I’m one of your favorite blogs. I lost track of your comment after that. (Kidding! Thank you! I love that you still pop in now and then.)