Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said, “one can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
~ Alice in Wonderland.
That sounds fun, doesn’t it? Let’s do it.
6 Impossible Things I’ll Believe Before Breakfast
- Possessed by a sudden, inexplicable urge to shine, my house will clean itself!
- Lexi will learn to do this.
- I will juggle all I have to do today while actually juggling giant fiery grapefruits, and… a hamster! (I’ll wear sequins too. It will be a spectacle of productivity, the likes of which the world has never seen.)
- Michael Chabon will come by at lunch time to give me a neck massage… … … … I’m sorry, what were we talking about?
- I’ll write 5000 PERFECT words, and not only that, they will all be in the right places.
- Zebra Sounds will magically transform from a blog to an island, with soft white sand, a sweet breeze, music, dancing, a little cheesecake… and we’ll all be there. And we’ll stun each other with how our avatars do not do us justice. ;-)
Okay, your turn!
Wild
Here is my list of impossible things with an explanation as to why they are impossible, I just want to be clear. (What? Impossible!)
1–I’ll win the lottery! (I don’t play)
2–I’ll be able to complete a phone call with my husband without having to call him again during our one conversation (I have an iPhone)
3–Spot will fetch (She’s a cat)
4–My novel will be published (I haven’t written one)
5–Joss Whedon will tell me why? (I’m not speaking to him)
6–I’ll come up with a sparkly 6th thing (I’ve stopped thinking)
Oh what fun!
If you can think it… it can happen — but not necessarily these things:
1) I wish my dogs could prepare breakfast for everyone and have it on the table and ready to go each morning — they, unfortunately, are having trouble with the buttons on the microwave.
2) I wish my microwave was a real food giver — you push a button and out pops piping hot pancakes or a nice grilled chicken salad. Whatever you want, at your finger tips (I saw this on the Jetson’s once).
3) I wish Zebra Sounds was an island and everyone told me how my avatar didn’t do me justice… wait, that was your’s wasn’t it?
4) I wish every Wednesday was designated as “go outside and read j all day long day” — but alas, that is Monday.
5) I wish that if I wore a ponytail everyday to work no one would say, “Hey, you’re wearing a ponytail again to work”.
6) I wish could close my eyes and just think of where I wanted to be and I would be there — right now it involves Andy Garcia.
7) I wish you didn’t limit us to 6 impossible things — so I made 7.
1. I’ll have a wonderfully healthy body image today.
2. I’ll be so effortlessly productive at work that everyone stands on top of their desks and applauds in wonder and awe.
3. I’ll receive notice that I’ve won an all-expense paid trip to a lovely cottage by the sea for a week.
4. I’ll decrease my mile per minute pace personal record by 30 seconds on my walk/run.
5. The happy little stuffed cow that sits on top of my refrigerator will speak and say, “Good morning, it’s time for your greek yogurt and granola. Have a lovely day!”
6. The clock will stop today for one hour giving me an extra hour of Me Time to write, paint, or work on my mosaic tabletop.
1. Sarah Palin will turn from a mean girl to a kind girl.
2. I will have enough bookshelves to house all my books.
3. I will articulate the purpose of my new business by the end of the day.
4. I will understand the world of plants, and they will trust me.
5. Richard Gere will deliver to me a pint of spumoni ice cream and explain why you can only get spumoni ice cream in Italian restaurants.
6. The world will soon be a place where there is room at the table for everyone (well, maybe not Sarah Palin if she’s still a mean girl).
Terre, Why does the iPhone cause you to have to recall? (I don’t have one – sniffle – so I kind of like stories about how it actually is not the answer to everything.)
Becky, Interesting that you phrased it “I wish.” I feel that’s significant but have absolutely no idea why! I’m glad I don’t work where anyone notices what I’ve done (or not done) with my hair!
Michele, I once wrote a post all about body image and then didn’t publish it. I wish that one wasn’t an impossible thing. Grrr! I for one, will stand on my desk and applaud you. While juggling. In my sequins. :-)
Karen, THAT is a lovely list. Perhaps Michael and I can join you and Richard. I am curious about spumoni as well!
I wish that saying I wish is a good thing. ;-)
J – Don’t know. Some say it is the iPhone, some say it is AT&T’s service. No one knows for certain, but last night John had to call me three times.
It is a device, it is not perfect, but it is fun. But since you have a phone you should get an iPad. Just trying to be helpful. Tee hee!
1. Zebra sounds will transform into an island with all of us there. I’m the one with her feet digging into the hot, soothing sand.
2. My cats open & close the doors all by themselves. They also let out & in the dogs for their pee breaks. I don’t trust our dogs with this talent & the cats will love the power.
3. The star trek ‘beam me up, Scottie’ is real. I have my own transporter room, just off the kitchen.
4. The coyotes are vegetarian & like just behind their ears scratched.
5. Buildings wiggle like jello in an earthquake but NEVER lose their shape.
6. OK, not so dark…Oh, my, there are juicy red tomatoes, melons, blueberries, raspberries, herbs & over there are gorgeous flowers & over there are asparagus, potatoes, corn, carrots & a bridge to the Island!! (for repair days on the transporter)
7. This I hope becomes true some day: the people of the world are all doing a coffee cup chinking ‘wave’ because we understand, respect and love each other. The time zones make the wave possible. London started at 7:45am…….
Ooh. As you know, I’m all about the Alice! So…
1. I will not be wearing pajamas at 10 a.m.
2. I will finally get writing assignments and be able to earn a living on my own so I can support the fiction writer (me).
3. I will find it very easy to sit down with wonderful ideas for stories everyday and write them.
4. I will wake up and find that elves had wonderful ideas for stories everyday and wrote them and signed my name.
5. No, back to #3. It will be more fun.
6. I will not overpack on trip to Zebra Sounds Island.
1. Fall in love
2. Fall out of same
3. Found the thermostat for Alaska on a birch tree. Cranked the sucker up to 80. #Alaskansforglobalwarming
4. Handmaidens feed me grapes until my *appetites* are satiated
5. Stephen King finally returned my phone call. We’re doing a round of golf – 3pm Tee-Time
6. All of the other contestants dropped out when they heard I had signed up for Last Comic Standing.
Phew!
George
I’m gonna love this one, cause I believe in impossible things all day long.
1. I’ll inherit $250 million so I can live my dreams and help all my family and friends do the same.
2. My amazingly awesome writing skills will be noticed by someone who cares enough to pay me money.
3. My house will become self-cleaning (like the oven, only not as hot).
4. Ice cream, cereal, cinnamon toast and pasta will become diet foods.
5. My new diet will allow me to lose that pesky 50 lbs in one week.
6. My neck massage will be delivered in person by a certain Twitter celebrity who will remain nameless, but apparently has a
penchant for middle-aged female writer types.
Our vacation on Zebra Sounds Island sounds like a lot of fun. See you all there!
Sue, Your last one gave me goosebumps. Big, huge smile! We have got to build that transporter, Jack!
Marisa, Laughing! #3-5 are why I love you! Zebra Island will require no packing at all. We’ll have everything you could possibly need – including a place (with a view and that breeze you like) for you to sit down and write out your wonderful ideas.
George, As long as we’re doing it all before breakfast, can I be the one you fall into and then out of love with? I’ll feed you grapes if you feed me cheesecake. ;-)
J-stress,
#1? Easy.
#2? Not so much. In fact, I’m not sure it would be possible with you as #1 :-)
Grapes, cheesecake – sure. it’s not the food, it’s the act. hehe. Blushes, retreats to corner
g
Ahhh, George-love. Explains my big goofy grin. ;-)
Toni, I’m a middle aged writer type, and I’ve noticed no celebrities having a penchant for me. (In fact, no one – celebrity or otherwise – seems to have a penchant! I better add “Will not succumb to Twitter insecurity” to my list.) :-)
Love your list. Add cheesecake to your diet foods, and we’re all set!
“I believe allll the children of the world…” — OK, growing up I was never much of a fan of Alice in Wonderland but a couple of the answers above reminded me of something that is funny. Check out “steve martin christmas wishes” on Youtube. I think it goes along very nicely with how people have responded so far !!
I’m thinking something along the lines of #4, only x-rated.
Bobby, Ha! Loved that, especially “the kids singing crap.”
Tricia, Now that I’m almost finished with Manhood for Amateurs, in which MC writes about his wife in a way every woman should have her husband write about her, I feel funny about lusting over him publicly. (So, read between the ellipses.) ;-)
Lordy. The ellipses, why didn’t I catch that? You little devil, you.
Wait, cheesecake isn’t a diet food? Since when??
Oh, those handsome rich single celebrity men are out there and they definitely have a yen for chicks like us. (This is the impossible dream list, right?)
1. The day will start without one “To Do” item left over from yesterday.
2. I will watch the sunset over Half Moon Bay with the perfect company. (Oh, wait! Did that).
3. Maya Angelou will show up at my door, ready to share a glass of wine and swap stories.
4. I will teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.
5. Garlic bread will magically tranform into a glass of wine.
6. Someone will read one of my poems and say “Who is this HippieChick? And where can I read more?”
I have only 1 impossible thing. I’m such a dreamer that to limit myself to 6 impossible things is, well, impossible!
Toni, Ohhh, THOSE celebrities. Okay!
Hippiechick, Yes, #2 and #5 I can vouch for being absolutely possible. I’m thinking #6 seems pretty likely too. Oh, and MC and I would like to share a glass of wine with you and MA. (What an awesome gathering that would be!)
A date, a date, a very important date!
Nice one!
RamblingScotsman, Oops missed you there. Well, if you think of six impossible things EVERY day before breakfast, then you’re hardly limited at all!
Easy! I could dream 6 unique and impossible things in the shower every morning!!!
1. Today is the day when gender equality is achieved, and years from now when someone asks us where we were on this momentous occasion, we’ll say we were on Zebra Sounds.
2. Today is the day when all of the differences we see … gender, race, ethnicity, age, class, ability, sexuality, spirituality, etc. … are finally appreciated and recognized as assets, and those viewed as “other” are embraced for the unique spirits they truly are.
3. I *LOVE* Hippiechick’s #3. May I borrow it, please?! I’m happy to add NPR’s Ann Taylor sidling up beside me on a bar stool to enjoy a few drinks while she regales with me stories of her days spent reporting.
4. Today is the day when I find time to let my creativity shine.
5. Today is the day when all of my family and dear friends move from their various abodes scattered across the U.S. into a long row of beachfront houses.
6. Today is the day I begin.
Amy, Your list is just amazing. #6… poetic, beautiful, definitely not impossible. Me too!
#1 Today I will quit my job, and magically have all the money and time needed to form my own business, which will consist of any and all thoughts that fly through my head. Business will boom, naturally. =]
#2 To know what Albert Einstein’s last words were. The nurse that heard his last words didn’t speak German. Who knows what he could have said =/
#3 I will never have to go to the gym again, and will still be fit!
#4 When I come home there will be a note on my door saying “I’m sorry” and my epic personal love story will start again.
#5 To be able to go back in time, change what I want, see the outcome, then have a “switch it back” button just in case I don’t like it.
#6 To be able to fly. I love the feeling of pushing off the wall of a pool under water and just gliding through the water. Feeling weightless until u have to take a breath. I would like to feel that, but through the air free without wires/restraint .
Tony, a pic! Yay! I love #4… all the story that is tied up in such a short sentence. My imagination is running wild. Your way with words is wonderful! Actually, I love your whole list. I hope you’ll come play on the ZS island!
Wow! Fun, J ~
1) Technology will ALWAYS work {this became my new no. 1 after I was on no. 6 & the whole comment disappeared} and will include all of the cool stuff from Star Trek including the box in the wall that provides any food or drink you ask for, instantaneous transporters, the communicators {way cooler than an iPhone or iPad, J} but not the stun guns ~ all of it will be available for everyone on Earth free of charge.
2) The laws of physics {or is it psychics?} will be broken so that the Earth will stop rotating and everyone in the world will be in the same time zone with sunrises and sunsets synchronized for everybody.
3) I will speak, read, write, understand every word in every language {even “physics”} ~ what the heck, let everybody have this ability.
4) Everyone on Earth will have clean air, clean water, food, shelter, medical care, a free quality education, cool clothes, fab shoes {and the ability to know which shoes go with which outfit, good hair days every day, and the time to do everything that they need and want to get done.
5) Lots of time at the island, where I not only look good, but I’m 38 again.
6) No one will ever have to clean, iron, etc. unless they want to.
7) Smiles, giggles, laughter, kisses and hugs for everyone every day.
Oh, and Ms Hippiechick68 ~ I have read your poems, I’d love to know who you are, and you have a blog to hold your beautiful words, but you never add any!!! I seem to recall you saying you would write a poem for me months ago. {I’m willing to provide both garlic bread and wine if that will help.}
Alice in Wonderland + j = 2 of my favorite things. Yay! :-D
Here’s my list – at least for today:
1. R2D2 will live at my house and take care of all the chores and repairs. In return, I will teach him to crochet.
2. My crock pot will learn how to grocery shop and cook delicious meals all by itself.
3. The snooze button on my alarm clock will actually stop time.
4. Organic food is mainstream and cheaper than non-organic food.
5. Planting a wildlife and butterfly garden in my backyard will restore the balance of nature in the world.
6. Everyone on the planet will play nicely with others. Forever.
1. Hippychick will teach me to sing and I’ll actually be in tune.
2. I can transport anywhere, anytime and have an unlimited pass to ZS-Island where I can finally meet the most fabulous people
3. I will have unlimited will power or just spidey-powers
4. I will always remain friends with my bff’s and get to see them at least once a week even if just for 5 minutes
5. Everyday we can all make a difference in one persons life
Mairi
1. Raz (my dog) will learn to talk.
2. The lead in the play will be cut, and i will get their part.
3. I’ll be cast as a backup Ralph Wiggum for The Simpsons.
4. Someone will create “learning caps” so i don’t ever have to go to school.
5. My book will get published as a book- even though it’s only 35 pages long.
6. I’ll be the first Daily Show guest under 18.
Dani, Love the generosity of your list!
jb, You forgot jellybeans are a health food. (Love #5!)
Mairi, Let’s hope #5 isn’t impossible!!
Raz, Ha! Love this. How long do we have before you’re tool old to make #6 happen?
j – jellybeans are already a health food – or maybe a soul food – because they make me little-kid-happy. :-)
Okay, late to the party, but I’ll join in anyway :)
Here’s what I’ll try to believe:
1. My wrist will stop hurting and I’ll be able to make plaster crafts without pain.
2. Crafts, arrangements, food, etc. will make itself and throw in a juggle too (without falling) for a laugh.
3. My cats will stop climbing into my shelves and clean my room after they play.
4. Or at least redecorate in a nice way.
5. My bunny will teach me how to twitch my nose like she does.
6. I’ll get to see you all on Zebra Sounds Island :)
Ahhhhhhh! *wiggling toes in the white sand* :)