In the shower, where I do much of my philosophizing I was thinking about happiness… I consider myself to be, on the whole, a happy person, and yet I hesitate when someone asks me if I am. There is something inherently fleeting about happiness, something that makes me want to qualify my answer, hedge my bets.
I answer the question with a question. “Right this second?” I ask, and they look at me as if I’m trying to get away with something. “Yes,” I say, finally, with all the conviction I can muster. And I mean it. More or less…
So, anyway, there I was, in the shower wondering about happiness, mentally listing things that make me happy. Not big things like love, and family, and the steady paycheck I vaguely remember getting in my distant past. I mean smaller, everyday things. Everyday things without which I am less happy. Even unhappy. Here’s my list.
- Writing time. I have a lot of stuff on my plate right now. Much of it is only peripherally related to writing. I feel it every day, the disconnect… my sense of drift, of having been blown a bit off course.
- Sunshine. I didn’t realize how much I was missing the sun until it began to shine again. Today I pulled a chair near the balcony window and edited in the warm, spring sunshine that poured in from outside.
- Lists. I like the illusion of control.
- Texts and Twitter… Bite-size love.
- Yoga. Any exercise, really, but yoga especially. It grounds me, reminds me to breathe, gets me as close to quiet as I am capable of being.
There are probably more, but that’s as far as I got before my shower, like all good things, came to an end.
So what are the everyday things that tip your happy scale?
1) Hugging my dog
2) reading to my daughter
3) yoga
4) water
5) grapes
6) lessons learned
Everyday things that make me happy:
1) Sax… still new at it, but I’m always surprised when I discover I’ve been practicing for over 2 hours.
2) Sex… say no more!
3) Wine… especially our occasional wine tasting/paring evenings with our great friend Jay (our personal wine and food paring expert…he’s coming again this weekend. Woo-Hoo!)
4) My sons… they can crack me up with their wry wit and sense of humor.
5) Work… it’s the first time I have been doing something that is both exciting and has the potential to make a difference in healing the planet.
6) My better half… last on this list, but first and foremost on the happy-o-meter!
There are moments, usually when I’m driving, and I’m lost in a song, singing loudly (and poorly) and dancing in the car… I don’t even realize I’m doing it… but 1) MUSIC makes me happy.
The moment just after I finish cleaning the house, and I step back, and look into my kitchen/dining room, and I see my grandmother’s kitchen table, shining in the afternoon sunlight… rows of her cookbooks behind it… 2) A HOME SO CLEAN YOU CAN SMELL THE SENTIMENT… that makes me happy.
Last night, I came home from work, and my love was preparing the grill… burgers, veggies, chicken wings… all I had to do was hand him a beer… 3) MY SEXY GRILLING MACHINE makes me happy. Kiss the cook? Absolutely.
After I ate too much, I was in my favorite chair. My fat cat, Tidbit (aptly named when we adopted him, but now, not so much), was on my feet. Our newest kitten, Lady Chablis, was in her favorite spot just under my chin, curled up on my chest. My oldest cat, Buddy, was on the armrest, and the diva of the house, Holly, was on the floor beside me. Yeah, I complain about cat hair and claw marks, but 4) MY INDOOR FELINE ZOO makes me happy. (Tidbit demands that I admit that calling him fat is the equivilant of the fat pot calling the fat kettle fat.)
Waking up to an email about my book… hearing that someone enjoyed it, or a poem moved someone, or someone connected with a line… feeling that moment, hearing or reading about how my words touched someone or made someone *feel* or remember… and stepping back and realizing I am 5) LIVING MY DREAM… THAT makes me happy.
And a bonus – 6) TAKING TIME TO STEP BACK AND BE THANKFUL… that makes me happy, too.
Becky, grapes. That’s cute. I didn’t even think about food, but cheese makes me happy almost every day.
CMW, Big smile. Sax and sex. I like that.
Bryan, I like your comment much better than my post. How do I get a signed copy of your book? I will visit your site now and see if that’s an option. (No one deserves to live his dream more.) <3
You email me your address, and I hook a sista up. That’s how. Poeticgrin@aol.com.
I’ll email, but I want to buy it. My part of making you RICH and famous.
1. Writing time
2. Having written
3. Having an afternoon to take a cup of tea, a cookie, and a new book to the comfy spot by the window and read.
4. Going on car trips and stopping at diners for breakfast
5. Long walks, especially in woodlands
6. Looking at the moon at night
7. Sharing dinner with friends
8. Finding the funny in many things and laughing out loud
Thanks for the reminder!
You’ve inspired me to write my list and it got way too long, so I turned it into a post. http://bit.ly/c4xREv
I have SO much that I am grateful for on an “everyday” basis, but I’ll list a few of the new ones here (in no particular order) ~
sitting on my bedroom balcony
tweeting while on the balcony
writing while on the balcony
laughing at others’ tweets while on the balcony
and, a BIGGIE ~ being considered a writer by real writers. That one floors me.
I love your description of text and Twitter as “bite-size love” ~ I doubt that the creators of either realized the potential for spreading love that these technologies provide.
Love you, J! Thanks for all your inspiration!
I do most of my philosophyzing while driving and many times forget it all as soon as I stop. but that might be an age thing… Ok, things that make me happy. Other than shiny things that distract me I would have to say:
puppies, well really all dogs
a walk in the woods away from everything
listening to music in the dark with my headphones on
That’s all I can think of at the moment.
Nice! I do my deepest thinking in the shower, too. Off the top of my head:
My boys, Eddie & Tommy.
New, smart and funny friends.
Unfettered affection.
Denial.
Marisa, Yes! “Having written.” That is its own kind of bliss. Love your list.
Estrella, your list is awesome – and huge! It makes me happy reading all the things that make you happy. :-)
Dani, Yesterday, my oldest son texted me with some crazy, laughable piece of his day and I felt sorry for every parent who hasn’t embraced text messaging. ;-)
Mary, I am all over the shiny things that distract me! And I love your list. It reminds me that I need to get some working earphones. This Sting station I’ve got on Pandora is making me VERY happy.
K-Dawg, You’re here! Big, giant smile; big, giant, unfettered hug.
I am guessing that as a writer you know the difference/definition of “everyday” and “every day” (ha!). Therefore I will work my answers to fit the blog comment.
– Seeing the ocean. It’s actually an everyday as well as an every day occurrence. Very big on the happy scale!
– Laughing. Yep, its certainly routine but I couldn’t make it without it.
– Taking a shower. One of my favorite things period. And why my nick name will never be “Wilderness man” or “grizzly bobby” or “Euro guy”.
– Sharing some story, comment, experience with a friend. Toooo many odd and funny things happen each day. Not be able to share them with another would make me less happy.
– Oh how I wish I could say “its just an everyday thing to be able to play basketball without having to stretch”. Damn that fact!
– Thinking to myself, “wow, how does Kim put up with all my nonsense?!?” — its routine to the point of being ingrained into my psyche but a more than desired part of the day!!
– Breathing! ha!
Bobby, Yep. I wrote it as one word on purpose. (Did you think my list was extraordinary?) How lucky that you see the ocean every day. I have beach envy now. Gaze an extra few seconds for me, will you?
I figured you had some J-intent going on in the use of that word! And in responding it struck me as funny (odd) how some of the most routine/ordinary things can be some of the brightest spots in the day! (my perpetual thought of “How in the world does Kim put up with my nonsense” at the very top of that list!haha!)
I want to use Bryan Borland’s answer as my own. The cat stuff hits so close to home. All of it. The only thing I can’t relate to is the last part — maybe someday.
As for other stuff: My daughters make me gigantic happy.
If I only write a little, then I’m only a little happy. Right now I’m only a little happy. Two weeks ago I wrote 40 pages of my new novel in one week, and I was a lot happy.
When I get no writing done then I search for non-writing things that give me purpose.
Judy
Thanks :) told you it was long, I’m sure not many people will have the patience to read it, but to me it’s important.
It makes me happy that you did and that it made you happy that those things make me happy :P (this was a funny sentence which made me happy; I’m pretty low maintenance :P)
I think I’ll post this list to my happiness project and add to it from time to time :)
Dani
Yes, your last thing, being considered a writer by other, real writers is definitely on my list as well :)
1 — My Hubby.
2 — Our cat.
3 — Our home.
4 — Our bed. (Especially clean sheets! Oooh!)
5 — My friends.
6 — Practicing Nia.
8 — The connections I have made via “Social Networking”.
All of these things tip my happy scale to WAHOO! Happy, happy Girl!!!!!
(PS I would like to add that because these things make me so happy, I thank God for them often, because I know that I am very blessed to have these things.)
well, this post makes me happy because it made me think of a bunch of things that make me happy. :-)
here are some others:
* my son’s laugh
* the ocean
* brach’s jelly beans
* taking pictures
* hiking in my boots, especially in a forest
* hammocks
* labrador retrievers – especially puppies
* swings
* being absorbed by a good book
* sunshine
* red wine
* chocolate
* my bestest friend
Trisha, Me too! But sometimes I get to bogged down with non-writer things and then it starts not to matter how purposeful they are.
Estrella, that funny sentence made me happy too!
Terre, I like picturing a happy scale that tips toward Wahoo! ;-)
jb, Except for the jelly beans, I agree with everything on your list. Especially that last one.
yay! more jelly beans for me. i’ll make you a cheesecake instead. :-)
Awww! If I hadn’t loved you before (which of course, I did), I would now.
~a good book
~a good quote
~garlic bread cleverly disguised as wine
~making people laugh out loud (see above) ;)
~a sunset that colors the sky
~the sound of the ocean
~the smell of rain
~the first buds on the trees. Sign of spring.
~coffee
~did I mention coffee?
~reflecting on things that make me happy
See, it worked. I am smiling.
Excellent list, Hippiechick! Should I explain garlic bread disguised as wine or let everyone invent their own fantastical stories? ;-_)
Excellent question.
I have to admit, I kinda like being a woman of mystery. ;)
I observed a preschool class today… I came to the realization that we all should start every day in a circle of friends, sitting Indian style on a bright carpet, singing happy good morning songs :)
Singing with friends makes me happy :)
also…
my family
kittens & puppies
rivers
swings
&
good coffee
I wanted to make a list, but got confused with “everyday” and “every day”. Now I’m not sure what to put on my list.
I don’t think I need to know the meaning of “~garlic bread cleverly disguised as wine”, just readin’ it made me smile.
I do everyday things every day.
Some of my favorites:
1. Seeing the sun in the morning.
2. Watching the sunset over the water.
3. Making my wife happy.
4. Spoiling my children.
5. Health.
6. Having a grateful client.
7. Falling asleep right away.
8. Receiving a new book in the mail.
9. Going on vacation.
10. Tweeting with Judy.
Lisa, wouldn’t that be great? How could your day go wrong after such an awesome beginning? Love your list. For some reason, I love “rivers,” and feel the same way.
Jerry, Too bad. I would have liked to see your list, because garlic bread cleverly disguised as wine would make me smile too.
Ralph, Can you see the sunset setting over water from where you live? Never mind. I’ll ask you on twitter because “Tweeting with Ralph” is a happy thing on my list too.
* Falling stars and most celestials
* Ocean air and beach sunshine
* A new adventure or new discovery
* Puppy dog eyes – humans & animals
* Creative time – quiet at 2am……
* Helping others when least expected
* Thunder & lightning – a good storm
* No schedule, No to-dos
* The Kid
Mmm ~ tricky one this
1: breathing (just try going a day without it)
2: moving (I had taken this forgranted until recently)
3: Twitter pals (they bring great joy into my life ~ you know who you are, please pat yourself on the back for your awesomeness)
4: Written (note the use of past tense)
5: Laughter (being able to make people I care about laugh ~ or groan ~ or at the very least smile is the sign of a good day for me)
6: Having my breath taken away by something that may appear small or mundane but can be a wonder to behold ~ reminding me to take nothing forgranted.
7: Making my friends and family smile
bnthtfl, Puppy dog eyes made me laugh, and I LOVE a good storm. Wish we had more thunder and lightning around here.
Simon, I bet you make people smile all the time. And when the mundane is suddenly transformed into something breathtaking… wow. I suspect you see that more than most people. You notice the beautiful details around you. Thank goodness your phone has a camera.