Recently I read a post by Becky Sain. She was writing about fear – something, as you know, I’ve been writing and thinking and wrestling with myself over the past year. She wrote about her dog, Scout, who is afraid of storms. During storms (and they get really good storms because they live in Tennessee), Scout stays close to Becky’s side and she comforts him, whispering and brushing him until the worst of it passes.
When I was reading Becky’s post, I couldn’t help contrasting in my mind Scout’s behavior in a storm to my dog’s.
I wrote about the first time I saw Lexi react to thunder. The magnitude of it surprised me, and even though her reaction comes from the same place – she’s afraid – Lexi does not cower. She rages. At the first distant rumbling, she stands, growls, her hackles visibly raised. If I talk to her then, tell her it’s okay, she looks at me. She is polite, but as soon as the next clap of thunder breaks, she’s gone.
She races through her dog door out into the back yard, where she hurls herself at the fence, running from one side of our backyard to the other, barking at the sky. She jumps so high, she could clear our 6-foot fences if that were her goal… It’s not. Lexi is raging at the thunder, the monster she cannot see.
I used to yell at her. I used to make her come in, where she would pace, growl and bark nervously, but now I don’t. I let her go; I watch her howl at the heavens and I think about how futile it is, how fearful, and odd, and fierce… how majestic it is – her rage. Eventually she comes back in, when the thunder stops. She’s spent, soaked. She lies down, sleeps, regroups. She’s ready to start it all over if the thunder returns, because for Lexi, standing still isn’t an option. There is power in the blood and adrenaline – the fear – that races through her.
I get that.
A good lesson for us then. Let us meet our fears head on, whatever they may be, and after the struggle with them…regroup and keep on going.
Isn’t it interesting that we often try to talk people out of their fears…or yell at them, including our animal companions?
This post reminded me of a phrase in THE FEAST OF LOVE: “But it’s a funny thing about other people’s phobias, when you don’t share them: you pick at them, like a scab. You want to remove them.”
Like Scout and Lexi, I have often let my fears take control of my life. I am working on it.
This quote is posted on my bulletin board:
“Everytime we choose safety, we reinforce our fears.” ~Cheri Huber
So, it goes.
Brilliant. Your writing strikes me as so intense, emotional, and powerful that it’s sometimes hard to comment on the emotions that come out while reading you. So, we’ll stick with brilliant — that covers it all.
Marisa, And may we all look as majestic as Lexi while we’re at it!
Hippiechick, That’s what I realized, how much worse I was making it for her to keep her inside. It’s what I realized about me too…
Becky, I would like you to write the jacket cover when my book gets published. (Like the “when”? Confidence – Act how you want to feel.)
Excellent post as usual j. I get this, as with Becky’s great post, they are different reactions to the same thing, and I think that I do both, depending on the “monster.” There are times when being afraid is good, and when charging at your fear is good – I guess the lesson I need to learn is when to do what, ah well life’s a classroom so maybe I’ll figure it out eventually :o) Thanks for making me think (even though it is a Saturday!)
As Becky said, “Your writing strikes me as so intense, emotional, and powerful”.
I wasn’t going to comment, especially after all of the comments were just as brilliant.
But I wanted to say it is fascinating how animals/people react differently.
Very nice! I loved your description of Lexi’s rage at thunder, she seems so cute (when still dry) :P
We had a cat once which was afraid of thunder and fireworks, so bad that on New Year’s Eve she was literally shaking during and for an hour after the fireworks.
Our current cats sleep through storms and fireworks, they are only afraid of the vet. She’s a friend of ours and whenever she comes over the cats curiously disappear until she leaves :P
Caroline, Yeah, sorry about the Saturday thing. ;-)
Terre, Thank you!
Estrella, Lexi doesn’t like the vet either. Fortunately she hasn’t had to go much.
I know it must be a bit disturbing to watch, but what a great reaction from Lexi.
I’m thinking YouTube viral if you could get it on vid…
I’ve heard that back in cavemen days, our bodies would take over when we faced fear ~ fight or flight. That this enabled humans to survive and evolve. I don’t know when it started, probably when large groups of humans began living together in a community, but “civilized” people are taught to hide our fears rather than rage at them, preventing many murders I’d imagine. You and Becky have so elequently presented the two faces of fear in your dogs. It’s interesting to see what each needs to deal with the storm. I don’t always face my fears in the way I later wish that I had, but I am learning to identify when fear is the root cause of my emotions. Much anger is just a reaction to fear. Knowing I’m not alone, that I have people who love and support me, often gives me the strength to face the fears head on.
This theme of fear and anxiety is in the blogospere. Here are links to two other posts on the subject that I read recently. (I am facing one of my fears by letting you and Becky know that I visit other people’s blogs, too. ;P But yours are the only two I visit everyday besides two food blogs
~ Amy’s http://www.veryculinary.com and http://www.thehungrymouse.com.)
Charlotte Rain (@Wordstrumpet) http://ow.ly/ZVDT
and mousebert’s tale (@Musbert) http://mousebert-tale.blogspot.com/2010/01/anxiety.html
Sorry for such a long comment *she says sheepishly*
Who was it that wrote, “fear is, by far, the worst ‘four-letter word’”?? Oh, and also wrote, “truly seldom are there situations that demand one’s fears”?? I think the name started with a “B” (and I also think there were a few other B’s in the name). Oh well, when I remember I will let you know!
A comment in your post, and one in caroline’s response, makes me think of another quote, “There are very few monsters that warrant the fear we have of them” (or something like that). I think it was Andre Gide but don’t hold me to it.
Wow, that was a rarity for me to throw out a quote from someone other than myself …hey, thats it, I wrote that stuff in the first paragraph!
– by the way, I just realized, a day of margaritas does not add to literary recall! ha!
Very beautiful post in its intensity as well as a truly dramatic visual discription. Fear, oh too familiar with it. What I have learned over the years, the hard way of course, is that fear like any other strong emotion needs to be identified and released. Hopefully, the release will be in a healthy and positive way and even if not, holding it in and letting it fester is by far worse.
Lexy comes in wet and spent. She sleeps. I’m confident that when she awakens, she is not dwelling on how afraid of thunderstorms she is. It’s on the back burner until it becomes relavent again. I think Lexy has taught me something very important. Thank you Lexi and thank you Judy for another inspiring post.
George, Actually now that I know how it all works out in the end, I’m kind of thrilled by it. I totally understand the need to move, let it loose… howl at the sky.
Dani, not always, but sometimes, anger is preferable to fear. I can work with anger. ;-) Love the links! Thank you! (And what, are you kidding? I adore long comments! Especially from smartypants like you!)
Bobby, You crack me up. I would imagine a day of margaritas wouldn’t add to any sort of recall. But your typing is awesome!
Joanne, I love this: “It’s on the back burner until it becomes relavent again.” I don’t know if I quite thought that through when I was writing the post, but that is the significance of her sleeping afterward. There is definitely a lesson to be learned. (Thank you!)
As I look at your blog on this Sunday morning a few things stand out…
Number one: I wrote a comment here yesterday?! If I hadn’t seen it I might not have known!
Number two: After a day of margaritas and fun I start referencing French, avant-garde, politically outspoken writers of the late 1800′s who won a Nobel prize and dated Oscar Wilde. Who knew!?!
Number three: When you are out playing with your dog and he suddenly stops and looks around knowingly what he is really doing is recalling things he’s got on “the back burner”. Who knew, again!?!
Bobby, 1) Margarita comments are encouraged. 2) Lexi is a girl. I can’t even get her to come out and say hi to her fans because you called her a he. (I told her you were speaking generically, but she isn’t buying it.) 3) Sigh.
Disclaimer — for the record (as I can comment sans margaritas) the term “YOU” was a simple comment to the general public, regarding no specific individual. And the term “HE” was a simple comment to the general dog public, regarding no specific animal. The latter term was denoted as masculine since its a guys world and is generally recognized as proper form over “it” —- Again, the comment was not, in any way, directed to a particular person or canine!
— good thing I have a corporate attorney on retainer. It would have cost a fortune to bring in a lawyer on a Sunday to write up a disclaimer to appease a dog! ha!
oh yeah…I seriously doubt that I was able to slip in that “guys world” tag without it being noticed. But it was worth a try! ha!
Bobby, Your legalese does not impress Lexi. Have a margarita and get back to her.
yeah, I knew I should have sent my disclaimer thru a canine intermediary — lexi would have better understood the woof-woofs between the lines! I hear a few of the 101 dalmatians set up a practice together. Will go thru them next time!
– hope the weekend is going swell!
Glad you liked it. I simply can not help myself writing in metaphors. This post really helped me to think about making adjustments in how I activly fear so many things. If there is a phobia for one who fears being afraid….yeah. ;)
I think i’m gonna get a bag of popcorn and watch to see if Bobby can dig his way out of this one :-)
I’m inspired by Lexi… I would love the opportunity to be open like that in the face of fear. open disregard for my own self awareness, and charging headlong at what threatens me. Would people think I’m crazy? Sure. Would they try to offer some logical way to deal with it? Of course. But sometimes, it’s just right to run through my own doggie door and howl at it… get it all out, and come back soaked and spent.
thanks J. Kinda timely for me
Joanne, I definitely learn more from Lexi than she learns from me.
TPM, Use your fear is something they say to writers all the time. I think it applies to everyone. It was timely for me as well.
This is beautiful, Judy! It stirred so many emotions in me.
Go ahead and howl, girlfriend.
J, I love how your posts make me feel, like an invitation into your head to experience what you’re writing about! I wish I could write like that!
Jane, “Go ahead and howl, girlfriend” put such a grin on my face. Thank you!
RSM, Wow! Thank you. You just said what every writer wants to hear!