I read this yesterday in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way.
We deny that in order to do something well we must first be willing to do it badly. Instead we opt for setting our limits at the point where we feel assured of success. Living within these bounds, we may feel stifled, smothered, despairing, bored. But, yes, we do feel safe. And safety is a very expensive illusion.
Yep.
Not too long ago, I suddenly got tired of being safe and decided I’d rather be scared. It’s been a bit of a ride for me ever since, and I think it’s only going to get crazier (and more fun, and more fulfilling) in the future. But the one thing I’m having to learn is that it’s okay to suck at first. That’s hard. I want that crazy “hat” that Neo wore in the Matrix so I can just download what I need to know and kick ass at whatever I decide to do.
In the absence of the hat, I’m adopting an attitude. Or, for me, it’s less attitude and more sequencing. It goes like this: Say yes first, and then figure out the how part later. It means I’m stumbling more often, making mistakes, looking more dorky than usual (and trust me, that’s not easy to do). But I am also broadening the definition of me. The more I do, the more I want to do. The opportunities seem endless, as long as I’m willing to be (decidedly) less than perfect at the things I try.
In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron asks you to complete this sentence. “If I didn’t have to do it perfectly, I would try… ” So, of course, I made a list! Here it is.
Ten Things I Should Just Go Ahead And Try Already
- Salsa dancing
- Acting
- Writing a mystery
- Belly dancing
- Swimming (for reals, not the thing I do)
- Driving a motorcycle
- Hiking the Grand Canyon
- Going on safari
- Writing a play
- Learning to play the piano
It’s a pretty good list. Just writing them down makes me want to take some action. (After NaNoWriMo.)
So, what’s on your list?
Just a quick hello to say thanks for this post … needed it this morning! Novel is so sucky right now, but it’s good to remember that if I want to develop my skills, it’s okay to do things badly at first, so long as I’m learning.
Also, loved your list! My list is short at the moment, in part because I’m a coward and in part because I’m currently trying a few things (namely finishing this novel, but also yoga and, strangely enough, volunteering) that I’ve been afraid to do for a while.
1. Learn another language (was always terrible at this at school… so I gave up as soon as I could!)
2. Hike part of the Appalachian Trail (not like Mark Sanford did, by the way; I’m not afraid of that kind of hiking! ;-D)
3. Travel in a country where English isn’t the dominant language (I have a real language issue, don’t I?)
Have fun with your list!
Judy thank you – the caption spoke directly to my soul this morning. Physically I have little fear, but alas mentally I have those nagging self-doubts that are like mountain roadblocks clogging up my life’s highway.
Here’s my immediate thoughts
1) Ballroom dancing – nothing scares me more than my general lack of rhythm
2) Learning french and holding my own in a real conversation; hopefully in Paris
3) going to a culinary school or taking some classes
4) wearing a bikini
5) talking to more people in everyday life
6) having confrontational conversations with my friends or hubby when I’m mad at something
7) learn to figure skate properly
8) bike or hike a really long distance; or at least exercise everyday
9) Write down my poems and not throw them away
10) Learn to snowboard
Thanks again for the inspiration! Working on making those self-doubts run away….
Thanks for sharing that prompt from The Artist’s Way.
I’m not sure I can come up with a list. Maybe because I’ve already challenged myself a lot this past year. I’ve even written bad poetry and shared it publicly!
Maybe I’ll do the language thing, though. I’d like to refresh my high school French and learn to speak Spanish … though knowing me, I’ll end up speaking Spench! :-)
Christina, It has been reassuring to meet so many other writers online. I am not alone in my tendency toward hermititude. (If that’s not a word it should be.) And isn’t funny how we live in a time when I’m hesitant to say, “Yay! I want to hike the Appalachian Trail too!”
Chezhui, I think of you as fearless. There’s that! I’m thinking we should all tackle our lists together… My ZS mind is working on something…
Linda, I know what you mean actually. The past year has been like that for me, too. Nervousness is becoming less and less of a deterrent all the time. Still, hard to picture myself belly dancing… ;-)
Well, do you have to do all these things publically? You could confine the belly dancing to your bedroom.
Ha! Linda, I’ve already done that. ;-)
I can’t tell if I’m in denial, or one of the lucky ones who didn’t need to be perfect at something to try it out. So I have trouble coming up with a list.
Having written that, I think I just had an epiphany — maybe what this is about is what I would like to do of I could take a leap of faith and trust without certainty.
The main thing on that list is ballroom dancing (or any dancing that requires a partner). I really wish I could trust enough to follow a partner’s lead.
Now, that one, I suspect says volumes about me.
Oops . . . that should read “if (not of) I could take a leap.”
Apparently I’m right — perfection is not something I do well.
If I didn’t have to do it perfectly … hmmm, that’s everything I do already. Uh, how ’bout Twitter? Ha ha. Just kidding. Still can’t bring myself to do that. I’d take up pole dancing (publicly and in a bikini) before I’d take that leap.
1.Explore …. Take a look at the other side of the coin.. Be brave!
2. Step right up to the edge and peer over.
Decide to take the next step.
Karen, Actually, yeah, I had to change the title of my list a little since not all my hesitation comes from a fear of looking dorky. (I think I would look amazing hiking the Grand Canyon, for instance.) Following a partner’s lead… definitely qualifies. Chad and I tried ballroom dancing. On the dance floor, we do not move in similar ways. I’ll take dancing with you. I’ll lead. It’ll be great.
Tricia, You comment damn near perfectly, baby. I’ll twitter for both of us. You stick to bikini pole dancing. ;-)
Jan, Before I hike the Grand Canyon, I will, in fact, step right up to the edge and peer over. You will have been my inspiration.
~~I want that crazy “hat” that Neo wore in the Matrix so I can just download what I need to know and kick ass at whatever I decide to do.~~
You’re already wearing that hat, dear.
Just like him, someone had to show you that you were under first; the world doesn’t change when Neo discovers it’s an illusion. He does.
Wake up.
You’re already awesome.
:)
Tracy, Thank you! So happy you’re here. Hey, I tried to see your Nano gear, but on your blog post it just tells me it’s loading (forever). Is there another URL?
I think this serves me right for taking a break from sermon prep and trying to write at midnight…
What came to mind, is not the list of things that I would do, if they weren’t perfect, but rather the list of things I wouldn’t do if they weren’t perfect…
#1: Skydiving… Nope, can’t say that I want to risk that being less than perfect, the chute maybe not deploying the way I need it to, bouncing off of the ground, stuff like that
#2 Eating Pufferfish…my understanding is that it is an Asian delicacy, and deadlier than wearing Cryp colors on Blood turf. If it is done right, you get this subtle tingle in your mouth (by the way, that is the deadly poison trying to kill you, there’s just not enough). One wrong slice, and you won’t be writing the column describing your disdain for the way it was prepared…
#3: setting up a room full of dominoes… I think after the 3rd or 4th time that they all start falling over before it is complete, I’d be hanging up my hat
There’s probably more, but you get the idea :-)
So, J, your list intrigues me. I wonder what I do now that has to be perfect before I reveal it to the world, or even to me… I’m an experimenter, I love trying things and seeing what happens (I accidentally made vanilla pudding one time. Couldn’t duplicate what I did if I tried). Even though I am so much of a perfectionist, there’s something glorious about the process, almost perfection in the imperfection. My mom gave me some advice about my writing, that, unfortunately, I have not taken to yet, but one of these days I will. She said to write my stories on paper. that way, you can have a record of all of the edits, the scratch outs, changes, additions, etc. You begin to appreciate the process of creation as much, or maybe even more than the finished product. Wise woman.
So, maybe it will be my first CD, cuz I’m so a perfectionist about my music. then again, it will be improvisational, so it just might be wrought with strange notes next to each other, fumbly things that don’t make sense until you hear them in relation to everything else.
then again, maybe it will be my next post… I tend to think about my replies for hours or days before I respond :-)
TPM, I love your list of “don’t unless it’s perfect.” I concur. Won’t be doing those things either. I’ve gotten that advice to – hand write first – and I’ve never done it either. I’m already frustrated that my typing fingers can’t keep up with my jumpy thoughts, hand writing would drive me crazy, but I do understand the connection to process that would occur.
My list. Well, it’s not so much a list of things at which I’d have to be perfect before I show anyone (except for maybe belly dancing), but it is a list that, for a myriad of reasons, I’m hesitant about. Makes me want to just jump in and start doing. Sometimes I really do over-think.
After nano… Watch out. ;-)
It is a challenge to get to the point where you can accept to suck in order to allow for something new.
hiking the grand canyon…that is an amazing place and a good one to try to do before you can’t.
kid
ps: swimming’s overrated. if you can get to the side of the pool, you’re good.
Terre, “in order to allow for something new.” I like that.
Kid, Hi! Haven’t heard from you for a while. By your definition, I am an excellent swimmer!
I love this post, thank you AGAIN you wonderful spritely writing muse :-) What struck me most was #5 on your list as I need/want to do the opposite . . . swim just to frolic and have fun — I was a great swimmer as a kid, even did the butterfly in a medley!! Now, I am so self-conscious of my skin and worried about how I’m being judged that I haven’t been in a pool for years.
P.S. Because I adore you, please consider ditching #6 — or, at least, limit it to some kind of track and wear the hardest helmet you can find.
P.S.S. I think I have some kind of cyber crush on the Tall Pajama Man :-)
Carey, the funny thing is that I swim to not drown. If I could swim well, like you, I’d frolic. That’s the goal!
PS I love you back.
PPS Me too.
Judy — that amazes me, you are such an athletic person and you love waterskiing and going on the lake, etc. It is actually hard for me to even understand when people cannot swim — I think I could live in the water and develop webbed feet (maybe that’s why I’m at home in Oregon haha). It’s an almost spiritual or meditative experience for me (especially at night in the summer — do you recall Steve’s pool in CA? Did we have you over there? I used to joke that was one of the reasons I married him — because he had a pool and I could swim without having people make fun of my pale skin, etc. Maybe we could have stayed together if we had a pool in Oregon — indoor, of course). Isn’t it funny how different we all are? I’ve never water skied and I’m a wimp compared to you, but I guess in a way swimming is a natural ability (after basic lessons) or rather some have a natural inclination. Didn’t Kid say he thinks swimming isn’t all that great? Oh, man, if I could express to you how much I’d love to swim every day! The feeling you get after a really long swim is amazing. Well, if I lived in CA, I’d join you for those belly dancing classes. I’ve actually almost bought myself one of those costumes just to wear it at home — to play dress up and act silly with Annie ;-) I LOVE dancing, but I usually need at least one drink to do it in front of others ;-) Oh, sorry, slight rambling here (!!)
Three things from YOUR list that I have long wanted to do:
*Belly dancing
*Hiking the Grand Canyon
*Learning to play the piano
I would say “swimming”(for reals), but I have tried that(you know, laps in a pool), but it is boring(even though I know one of the best life-long exercises you can do for your body), so I am content still to bob in the ocean and dog paddle around.
I think I’ll add yoga(nope, never have yet done it) and one day painting on HUGE canvases, and learn to speak Italian.
Carey, I know. I even had swimming lessons as a child, but I guess it didn’t stick, because I’m terrible. Lots of energy expended, very little movement. But it’s on my list now. It shall be done.
Tina, I love “one day painting on a HUGE canvas.” I would love to see that painting, Ms. Talented!