I can’t resist.
I tried. I came in here to write about something else. But as I logged into my blog, I heard the story of Senator Brownback and I had to stop EVERYTHING. It’s Tuesday already, and not once this week have I been more riveted to a news story, nor have I been more awed by senatorial jackassery heroism. Finally, someone is willing to stand up to all those crazy mad scientists out there and say, “Enough is enough. No more human-animal hybrids, you whacky evil geniuses, you!”
WTF? At last!
Wildly amused intrepid blogger that I am, I checked Senator Brownback’s blog multi-media news portal, and this is what it says about the Senator’s bill:
The Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act would ban the creation of human-animal hybrids. Human-animal hybrids are defined as those part-human, part-animal creatures, which are created in laboratories, and blur the line between species…
This legislation is both philosophical and practical as it has a direct bearing upon the very essence of what it means to be human, and it draws a bright line with respect to how far we can go in attempting to create new creatures made with genes from both humans and animals.
I am so tickled relieved by this legislation and think it is a collosal waste of time long overdue.
I saw “The Fly.” It scared me to death. That man head on that fly body, his little tiny fly-man voice, “Help me! Help me!” Seriously, that terrified me as a child. (Until my brother and I stayed up one night to watch “Night of the The Living Dead,” and I realized that people rising up from the dead to eat me would be far more terrifying than a tiny, ultimately swattable, fly-man.)
Which brings me to my point. It’s not a law yet. It’s still just a bill. It has to go through committee and if it doesn’t die there, then it goes to the House of Representatives, and then to the Senate, and then to the President to sign. (I know this because I was paying attention during School House Rock.) What I’m hoping is that someone as goofy wise as Senator Brownback will tack on a much needed Zombie ban, turning a good law into a great one.
The Human-Animal Hybrid and Zombie Prohibition Act of 2009… sounds awesome, right?
We will all sleep better soon.
Night of the living dead on creature feature really did alter my fear of everything to just one thing. Zombies.
This legislation would probably stop using baboon or pig heart valves in the repair jobs of people. Could be devastating.
And I want my wild octopus monkey man!
I’m with you Judy (and singing the “I’m only a bill” song while I’m typing) but I’m also with John Pruitt, because I’ve been looking forward to having wings for years, and once they started doing the human/hybrid things I figured I could pair up with a griffin and get me some wings…*sigh* …..now, I’ll have to demur on the basis of people who legislate human/hybrid creationism (tee hee) are idiots….*sigh*….again.
But if it comes down to giving back my pig heart valve…not gonna. Nope. Just wouldn’t be prudent at this juncture.
Hey, but if PIGS had WINGS….maybe this guys bill will fly……
P.S. Monsters who are monsters up front don’t scare me …..It’s things that represent themselves as OTHER than monsters and then morph into monsters that scare me…..
hmmmmm…..thought I had changed the subject to fiction and movies…but I think I’m still talking about politics and politicians.
Actually, you can rest easy. According to the multi-media news portal (his term, by the way, not mine), The bill “does not preclude the use of animals or humans in legitimate research or health care where genetic material is not passed on to future generations, such as the use of a porcine heart valve in a human patient or the use of a lab rat with human diseases to develop treatments.”
There you go… only your wings and wild octopus men are threatened.
Karen, hidden monsters… and sadly they’re not just in politics!
But what about werewolves … they’re kind of a natural animal/human hybrid, no? And how do vampires fit in?
I’m so proud someone taking up a Senator’s seat is actually serving the interests of the the great people of this country!
if this bill passes, i’m going to unleash my pack of winged monkeys and have them carry off Senator Brownback and his little dog, too. ;-)
oh wait… winged monkeys are allowed under his bill. never mind… ;-)
Damn. Does these mean I have to stop what I’ve been doing in my basement? I was *so* close to likening parts of myself to a horse and having a career in the adult-film industry.
Linda, I don’t think we can stop NATURAL occurrences like werewolves and vampires! Also a Frankenstein-type monster would be okay, as long as only human parts were reanimated. Okay… ready, break!
jb, That just means your winged monkeys won’t land you in the pokey. It’s still a great plan!
Poeticgrin, You induced a giggle fit of ginormous proportions… much like a horse’s whinney!
horse’s whinney? Judy, this is a family posting area, don’t take it into the locker room. ;)
I never cease to be amazed at what seems so ludicrous to me that seems so serious to the far right. These kinds of things seem so ridiculous, and yet…here they are, surprising me yet again.
cmw
CMW, thank you for picking this blog back up to lofty lefty grounds! Big hugs to you!
It is funny how something like this legislation can be so funny, yet not funny, at the same time…
Jane, Indeed! And not to put too fine a point on it, but I feel like that about a lot of what our congressional Republicans do…