I’ve been silent on Sarah Palin since the election. She didn’t win. I don’t live in Alaska. No need to beat a dead moose, as they say. (I’m not sure Sarah says that, by the way, but let me be perfectly clear that I don’t support the beating of moose, dead or alive. Even when they misbehave, as moose are prone to do.)
But now Palin’s lawyer has posted a notice of intent to “investigate any legal options she may have against anyone who republishes allegations that have been circulating about the reason for her resignation.” The release, which isn’t addressed to anyone in particular, does mention a few “unscrupulous” culprits, namely Alaskan blogger Shannyn Moore, The New York Post, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post and MSNBC.
I think I want in on this. Think of the traffic she will drive to my blog if her lawyer trashes me on national television. Or, better, she Tweets about my unscrupulousness. (Sarah Palin tweets. I will soon be doing a post of the five things I like best about Twitter. That probably won’t make the list, but I am amused nonetheless.)
Okay, so here it is, a j-list of possible reasons Sarah might be resigning before she’s finished her term. (Which is not to be confused with quitting. She’s not quitting. I know that because I listened to her speech. She made it perfectly clear that she is not quitting because that would be the easy way out. She’s not a quitter, she’s a fighter, and by fighter, I mean she’s a point guard in a metaphorical basketball game, driving through a full court press. She’s protecting the ball, watching the basket. The ball, of course, represents sound priorities, like smaller government, energy independence, victory. She didn’t tell me what the basket represents, but I’m thinking it works like a decoder ring. Throw the ball in, and – swoosh – the whole speech makes sense.)
Until then though, here are my wild guesses about what’s up with Sarah Palin.
- Todd was once Tanya. ‘Nuff said.
- Sarah and David Letterman SERIOUSLY made up. (Rumor has it there’s a You Tube video.)
- She’s negotiating for a spot on the next season of “I’m a Rising Star in the Republican Party, Get Me Out Of Here.”
- Turns out plotting revenge on Katie Couric is a full-time job. (How do you get a cute-as-a-button NBC Today Show co-host to spontaneously run under your helicopter?)
- There is no Sarah Palin. There is only Tina Fey. You betcha.
Got some wild speculation? Please share! You can say I made you do it, thus increasing my chances of being sued.
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And now for something completely different… When you’re a social media Jet, you’re a jet all the way, from your first Twitter Tweet till your last dying day… Or something like that. Watch Westside Website Story. It’s fun, musical, silly… what more could you want?
Judy,
I’ll try to come up with some wild speculation once my brain wakes up properly…but for now I just want to say the decoder ring KILLED ME.
i have to admit, i’m not as interested in why she’s leaving (as long as it isn’t to run for office – ANYWHERE, EVER!) as where she’s headed. usually, alaska is far enough away to be – well, out of the way. but obviously, that backfired with palin. perhaps we can sell her on the many benefits of living in siberia? (all that lovely oceanfront property….)
Jb– and she can see Russia from there!
Dang Judy, I think you have excess funny bones … canyou spare one for me?
Karen, Did you see the speech? It was… fun.
jb, I’m working up the Siberia brochure right now!
Linda, You don’t need me. The “she can see Russia” made me laugh aloud!
Passive agressive is what tiggrs do best
:I’m not saying she’s drunk and I won’t say she isn’t, but there has been talk!
:I’m not calling her stupid…
:I’m glad to say Sarah used to be in politics
I watched her going away speech and had never been more confused in my life about why someone was leaving, but I got the impression that balls were involved.
Well, she did say, she’s doing it for Alaska. So now if she will only say that for the good of the United States, she won’t run for President.
Mika Br…..(however you spell her name) on Morning Joe wants this to be about how women are treated badly. Pardon me, look at what happened to Hillary Clinton when she was first lady.
Sarah, we’d like to miss you so I hope this means you are going away.
Here’s a scary thought. (okay so I’m a risk taker). I hope she does run in 2012. It might give the democrats a fighting chance… (Given the propensity of dems to act like a bunch of cats…hard to get them all herded in the same direction. Part of what I like AND hate about dems.) Pesky independent thinking.
As for possible reason?
How about:
Wants to compete for Ms. America to right the Miss California wrong.
Trying to add baggin’ a Grizzly to her portfolio and needs to be able to helo at a moments notice.
I can’t compete with you j, or your guests.
They are all pretty good (and some are downright possible!)
cmw
John, clearly you as good at this game as you are at Caption This! =)
Karen, I think there’s a country song like that – please go away so I can miss you when you’re gone.
CMW, Please don’t say scary things like that. (I feel I owe Letterman an apology.)
linda – love the russia comment!
cmw – you’re freaking me out. the only place i want palin to run is away – far, far away! (pluto sounds good…)
judy – loved your “decoder ring” comment and “tina fey” theory. now that would be the best snl skit ever! :-)
I have heard speculation, and it is purely speculations, that she may be starting her own church. I did not make that up. Somebody else did. But it sounds plausible, doesn’t it? I suspect it could be true.
jb – I hope SNL does it. Tina Fey with multiple personality disorder!
The Alster, Actually, it does sound plausible. She already speaks in tongues. ;-)
Oh, Judy… I love you.
BR, You made my day. If I were smart, I’d log out now on the up note!
Okay, okay, so no Palin in 2012. Maybe she can join the team that goes to mars, whenever that is.
Happy? :)