You can tell it’s going to be a good day when I start out blogging about hugging!
I am a hugger. Oddly, I do not come from a family of huggers. I had to learn this skill as an adult, and it wasn’t easy. When I first met my husband’s family, I was stunned, and more than a little put off by all the hugging. They hug hello, they hug goodbye, they hug if you change positions, say something clever, exhale. They are an affectionate group, my husband’s family. You adapt or suffocate. It’s that simple.
It took me a while, but eventually I converted, and now I’m like this evangelical born again hugger. Where I used to tense up, now I fight the impulse to hug. I have to remind myself that not everyone wants to feel the love.
But they should. According to the Happiness Project Blog, a study was done in which students were assigned to two groups. One group was the control, the other was assigned to give or receive at least five hugs each day for a month, and (I love this part) they were given parameters. The hugs had to be front-to-front, non-sexual, with both arms of both participants involved. (I can just see me in this test, trying to make sure every hug fit within the guidelines of the experiment, micro-managing every spontaneous display of affection- you know how I am about science!) The aim for the hugging students was to hug as many different people as possible. And guess what? The huggers were happier!
So now, along with dreaming up ways to simplify my life, I’ll be trying to hug five times a day (front-to-front, both arms, non-sexual… check). What about you? Are you a hugger? Do you think it makes you happier, more connected? Or do you think it just gives you cooties? (Weigh in, you curmudgeonly non-huggers!)
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And now for something completely different… Watch this charming, wonderful, amazing little four-minute video. A Dutch art student named Evelien Lohbeck transforms an ordinary notebook into a notebook computer, using a combination of line drawing and live action video. Hello, handiest little copyping, musical, nose-powdering, toasted-cheese sandwhich-making notebook ever!
i’m a hugger and have been for years! love it! 5 a day sounds like a great start. i’m not sure i always meet all 3 criteria – guess i’ll have to pay more attention.
For all you non-huggers out there, I have some scary news. I’m a pretty big hugger. (This is NOT the scary part). I can cause others to become huggers over time. If you are not a hugger, I’ll shake your hand when we meet, but I’ll likely be giving you a hug by the end of the evening. (This is STILL not the scary part.)
Growing up, I was (and still am, by a long shot) the least huggiest person in my family.
(Scary, huh?)
cmw
I give you a BIG virtual hug. I love this post. I am a hugger. I don’t usually do the full on body hug, but, a nice polite hug.
I do think it makes people happy. I think that people were meant to touch and be touched. I think it is good for people. But I also understand non-huggers, I don’t think about them when I am hugging though. I should be more careful.
I think shaking hands is more cootie passing than hugging.
OOOOO (more hugs! or do you say the XXX are hugs?)
I am not of the hugging persuasion.
According to the wordnet database from Princeton University (my alma mater):
curmudgeon (Noun) a crusty irascible cantankerous old person full of stubborn ideas.
now j, who are you calling old?
kid
Peggi, All day today, I did front-to-front, two hands, non-sexual. And I’m feeling tired and happy. It must work.
CMW, not so scary to a born-again hugger. =)
Terre, O’s are hugs around these parts! O!
Kid, Hmmm… I think you just wanted to type the word “curmudgeon.” ;-)
i don’t come from a hugging family. i come from a family that can find exactly the right card for any sentiment or occasion and significantly contributes to hallmark’s success. but my people, in general, are not huggers. (although, if hallmark made hug cards, i’m sure they’d buy them.)
i learned to hug as an adult, too (although i no longer remember where) and i learned that i love hugging! once i converted to the religion-o-hugs, there was just no going back because i’d been saved!
and now i know that if i want a hug in my family, i have to give one. and i accept that even though i give them big-ol-two-armed-squeezy-hugs, my family always gives one-armed-tenative-hugs in return. i accept this, but i don’t understand it, not at all. what are they saving their other arm for? i always check to make sure they’re not holding hot coffee or a glass of wine or a knife, before initiating a hug. at the risk of sounding like a hug-snob, it’s a bit like asking someone to break a ten and having them give you a five.
it’s a mystery to me. still, one-armed-hugs are better than no hugs at all. :-)
now, the hug-cheek-kiss-combo move – there’s something i’ve not only never mastered but have messed up to the point of embarrassment for all parties involved, including innocent bystanders. but that’s another story.
jb, your comment (besides being awesome) was so funny i could not stop laughing. aloud. i have to go find someone to read it to! thank you!!!
curmudgeon, curmudgeonly, curmudgeonry, curmudgeonistic, curmudgeonification. (Okay, I made the last two up.)
kid
I love all the people who write in to your blog. JB is great, that response is priceless — I wish I could see more than a blue and white quilt pattern as his/her Face! haha It took me a while to figure out how to get my picture on here but I love being able to see everyone’s mug so I figured I’d join in. Let’s talk JB into showing a face, or maybe just a mysterious eye or profile like Terre does
;-) Of course, it takes a great post to inspire responses right? Thanks so much for all these thought provokers, it’s such a great break for me. I bought this little book/box set a while back called “Writer’s Toolbox” to help give me idea sparks for writing (just cuz’ writing makes me happy/helps me get into that little zone). I like your blog posts much better though — and along with everyone’s responses it’s pretty much the highlight of my day ;-) Well, except for when my little girl hugs me! My family is funny in that my Dad is a hugger/affectionate but my Mom is not — my Mom shows affection through giving compliments and being sweet, if that makes sense. She’s affectionate with her dog though. I guess we’re all different. I too am a ‘converted’ hugger . . . didn’t start out as one I think because I was so shy as a child and teen (for the most part). In my 20′s I had a lady friend at work that hugged me all the time and somehow I just had a break through. I’m so thankful to her, she was a great hugger. Now I hug all kinds of people . . . I wait for the ‘cue’ though, there’s a kind of sign I get from a person’s expression or their ‘stance’ that tells me whether it’s o.k. or not. Otherwise, my handshake is not really a ‘shake’ — it’s more like a hand-hug . . . I always use both hands and will hold the other person’s hand for a bit if they let me — but never too firm and not too weak. I don’t even know how that started or why I do it!? I just never liked those business-like hand-shakes — it’s not me at all. Sorry, I’m rambling again!! Trying to avoid work I guess.
Kid, you are my favorite curmedgeon!
Carey, you are sweet! One of the nice things about commenting on a blog is the ability to do it somewhat anonymously. That’s why people don’t always use their names. You need to learn to live in the question. (I totally love that comment by Darren. I am adopting it as my mantra.) As for hugging, I’ll take your front-to-front, non-sexual, two armed version over your hand hug any day! =)
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