Thank you to my friend, Tana Butler, for coming up with the name of this post. (She didn’t know that’s what she was doing when she coined the phrase, but I love it, so I’m stealing it. I figure if I say thank you, it’s all good.)
So, I decided I wouldn’t write LOVE, PEACE, JOY or HOPE because that’s just what you’d expect me to write for a project like this. (I try not to be too predictable.) So today’s word… it’s a verb that frankly does not happen nearly enough. ;-)
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And now for something compeltely different… I like the website, Unhappy Hipsters, as much for the weirdness of the idea as for its clever execution. It “pairs photographs of attractive people living in modern splendor with captions written from the perspective that its subjects are actually suffering from some sort of existential despair.” It’s funny, if you’re a little warped like I am. ;-)
Categories: the view from here (Pictures!)
Tagged: art, creatitivty, Judy Clement Wall, pictures, words
I can’t look at this picture without laughing. I love it. The only way it could be funnier is for you to caption it. So go ahead. Make my Friday.
Caption this.
Categories: caption this
Tagged: caption this, funny, funny pets, funny pictures, kittens
You may have noticed that I haven’t been posting every day. I’ve switched to Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. (And if you hadn’t noticed, well, then I’ve needlessly confessed. D’oh!) I’m really liking this new schedule. It gives me more time to write non-bloggy things and to pursue whatever it is I’m pursuing… happiness, fulfillment, creative expression, dazzling financial excess.
That said, I wrote a Vagina Monologues piece for isca Media that you really should go read because it has drums in it. And, really, who doesn’t want to read a piece with drums?
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And now for something completely different… I subscribe to a news letter that recently arrived in my inbox with this headline: “Want to see the personalized stationery of Hitler, Houdini and Elvis?” I thought, “Absolutely, are you kidding?” because that’s how I roll. (For real.) I love this site. Have fun.
Categories: isca media
Tagged: isca media, Judy Clement Wall, vagina monologues
I am not cool. Every day, over and over again, I come face to face with my undeniable lack of cool. I’m confessing on the theory that at some point you can become so completely uncool, you’re cool again.
You be the judge…
Ten Reasons I’m Not Cool
- I can’t text and do anything else at the same time. I can’t text and walk, or text and drive, or text and talk. And truthfully, I can barely text at all. My phone, which is even less cool than I am, doesn’t have a mini keyboard. If I want a “c” I have to push the #2 key three times. It takes me forever, and my texts are riddled with typos. All too often, I text mysteries (which sounds much cooler than it is.)
- I’ve never seen Mad Men or Glee, didn’t know who Kris Allen was when he sang at the Saints-Vikings game, and had to look up what Heidi Montag was famous for other than plastic surgery.
- I never know what to wear, especially on my feet.
- I love, love, love those little colored post-it tabs you can use to mark pages in a book. I look for reasons to use them. I tab everything. I tab The Boy when he isn’t looking. (He looks good tabbed in florescent green.)
- I missed all of the last season of Lost. I haven’t decided whether to watch this season. The premier is being recorded as I type, in case I decide to be cool.
- I’ve been known to sing along with Barry Manilow, because I know all the words to all the songs that make the young girls cry.
- I’ve never been entirely comfortable in boot cut jeans.
- I like terms of endearment. “Darlin’” makes me swoon.
- If it weren’t for Twitter, I wouldn’t know who Taylor Swift was. Or Justin Bieber. Or Lady Gaga.
- I have a little crush on Bob Barker.
So what do you think… so uncool I’m cool again?
Categories: j's lists
Tagged: 10 things, barry manilow, bob barker, glee, heidi montag, Judy Clement Wall, kris allen, lost, mad men
I’m really excited about my February Blog project. A couple of weeks ago, I went to Santa Cruz – a beautiful coastal town near me – and in one of the shops I saw these wonderful photographs…
I loved these! Not because of the words that were spelled, although there is nothing wrong with the words, but because they stirred my imagination. I am not a visual artist at all. I think in words. I read books and revel in the language, listen to music and lose myself in lyrics, watch movies and obsess over the dialogue. I love the idea of creating words out of the details of my world. As soon as I saw these, I thought, “I want to do that!”
So I did. I ventured out on Saturday, and I looked for letters in the branches of trees, in the angles of architecture, in the geometry of household things. My first word was easy to pick. It was the theme of 2009 for me; it is my command to myself for the future, my goal, my constant inner chant.
I had so much fun doing this, wandering aimlessly, soaking up the California sunshine, moving (uncharacteristically) slowly because that’s what the project demands. Like my Beckoning the Lovely project, this one will force allow me to do something creative and out of my normal routine every week, and – bonus – I’ll be stopping to take notice of where I am, right now.
So here we go. Every Monday in February. A new word. It’ll be fun.
Categories: the view from here (Pictures!)
Tagged: art, creatitivty, Judy Clement Wall, pictures, words
Recently I read a post by my friend, the lovely Becky Sain. She was writing about fear – something, as you know, I’ve been writing and thinking and wrestling with myself over the past year. She wrote about her dog, Scout, who is afraid of storms. During storms (and they get really good storms because they live in Tennessee), Scout stays close to Becky’s side and she comforts him, whispering and brushing him until the worst of it passes.
When I was reading Becky’s post, I couldn’t help contrasting in my mind Scout’s behavior in a storm to my dog’s.
I wrote about the first time I saw Lexi react to thunder. The magnitude of it surprised me, and even though her reaction comes from the same place – she’s afraid – Lexi does not cower. She rages. At the first distant rumbling, she stands, growls, her hackles visibly raised. If I talk to her then, tell her it’s okay, she looks at me. She is polite, but as soon as the next clap of thunder breaks, she’s gone.
She races through her dog door out into the back yard, where she hurls herself at the fence, running from one side of our backyard to the other, barking at the sky. She jumps so high, she could clear our 6-foot fences if that were her goal… It’s not. Lexi is raging at the thunder, the monster she cannot see.
I used to yell at her. I used to make her come in, where she would pace, growl and bark nervously, but now I don’t. I let her go; I watch her howl at the heavens and I think about how futile it is, how fearful, and odd, and fierce… how majestic it is – her rage. Eventually she comes back in, when the thunder stops. She’s spent, soaked. She lies down, sleeps, regroups. She’s ready to start it all over if the thunder returns, because for Lexi, standing still isn’t an option. There is power in the blood and adrenaline – the fear – that races through her.
I get that.
Categories: j'epiphanies
Tagged: becky sain, dog, fear, Judy Clement Wall, rain, thunder
I actually posted this picture last year (but not as a Caption This) with a link to an article about Julian Beever’s sidewalk art. It’s breathtaking. This is one of my favorite photos of his work because the baby is so perfectly positioned.
Plus, even I can think of some captions for this! But you first… caption this!
Categories: caption this
Tagged: caption this, cute baby, frog, funny, sidewalk art
It’s time for a curious list post! Yay!
Picking a page at random from the Curious List book (only not really, because when I did that, I landed on “Impractical Vessels for Storing Tea,” which, to be honest, intimidated me – though I don’t know if my hesitance was due to the tea or the vessels. In any case, I ever so randomly flipped again and landed on “Countries that Export Sardines,” at which point I stopped being random and looked for a list that didn’t make me jittery) and I found this: “Ridiculous Reasons for Saying Thank You.”
Now that I can work with, because I am prone to unnecessary thank yous. It’s true. It’s a quirk. It’s a thing I do. So I will happily supply the first five items on our list, and then turn it over to you. Ready? Okay, let’s do this!
Ridiculous Reasons For Saying Thank You
- When someone tells me I have a beautiful dog. Truly I have next to nothing to do with how pretty Lexi is. She was pretty when I got her, and why would thank you be the appropriate response to that? I should say, “Yes! I agree! She’s hot… you know… for a dog. She’s a hot dog, if you catch my drift… Get it? Hot dog?” (Okay, maybe that’s not what I should say… but something other than thank you is in order.)
- In response to someone who says, “You look great for your age.” Seriously, what? “For your age” is so tacked on to that sentence. It is unnecessary and awkward, like boys at a middle school dance. The sentence is complete after the word “great.” Thank you cannot possibly be the appropriate response. I’m thinking something more like, “Dumbass,” and maybe an indignant hair toss for good measure.
- When you come home to find your significant other has mounted a moose head on the wall above the television. ‘Nuff said.
- When anyone puts you in a cold shower “to sober you up.” (This has never been done to me, but if it were, “thank you” would not be my first response.)
- When anyone (ANYONE) eats the last piece of cheesecake because “they know you’re trying to lose weight.” (That’s B.S. plain and simple. Everyone knows cheesecake has no calories, no carbs, eight essential vitamins, AND it improves your skin tone.)
Okay, your turn.
Categories: j's lists
Tagged: 5 things, curious list, humor, Judy Clement Wall, list, silliness, thank you
It’s the last Monday in January, which makes it the last day I’m going to ask you for advice. Ever. Promise.
So I’m cheating. I’m asking for your go-to item… in five categories. Five pieces of advice for the price of one. (But don’t feel like you have to do all five. Jump in wherever you can.) Ready? Okay, here goes.
- Your go-to dinner. This is the thing you always have the ingredients to make. The one you reach for when you get home late, and you’re frazzled, and you need something fast and easy.
- Your go-to dinner when you’re showing off. I met a woman who always brings spaghetti pie to potlucks. “It’s different, easy and impressive,” she says. “People remember you for it.” Well, that would be nice. When people remember me because of something I cooked, it’s almost never a good thing. What I need is that one trusty recipe – easy to make, but still, well, dazzling. Yes. I want to dazzle.
- Your go-to shoes. Mine are are my black Converse tennis shoes, but they don’t work as well when I’m trying to look professional. (What? I do, occasionally, try to look professional.) But shoes are my downfall. I just never know what the appropriate footwear is. (And have you noticed how infrequently mannequins have shoes? What is up with that? I’m always thinking, “Yeah, that’s great… but what shoes?”)
- Your go-to movie. This is different than your favorite movie. This is the movie that never gets old. It cheers you up when you’re down. It makes you think, “I love t his movie!” every few minutes. It’s your comfort movie, the cinematic equivalent to chocolate. (Hint: This will not be a movie you’ve only watched once. This movie’s your guilty – or not so guilty – pleasure.)
- Your go-to make out music. I’m not ashamed to say that Barry White rocks my world, and if I ever hear Marvin Gaye sing “Let’s get it on” without wanting to get it on… shoot me. So, weigh in – what do you put on when you’re trying to set the mood?
Okay. That’s it. The last Help J Monday… and if you think for one minute this is the last time I’ll ever ask you for advice, then you haven’t been paying attention. :-)
Categories: on my mind - NOW
Tagged: advice, cooking, help j, Judy Clement Wall, make out music, movies, music, shoes
